Appearance Puns

If you have only one elf, that's Tolkienism.

They have bye weeks.

Girlfriend: I just finished reading a really thick chapter of copyright law. Let me take a break It was really heavy.

Me: Do you need a lighter?

So I'm at dinner with the family, and our salads are taking forever. My dad says, "I guess Caeser himself is delivering the salad." So I said, "He comes up, says, "Your salad is ready," and leaves."

And my dad says with a grin, "Caesar leaves?"

My face = >:|

The cops are currently looking into it.

Now I live in a cottage with 6 other dwarfs and I work in a mine.

Dancing with the stars

This has left scientists scratching their heads l

I turned A Whiter Shade of Pale when I saw it.

Microwaves

In fact, I know she seamstressed

They had to SeverNyah

Finally the wolf died and the baby lamb walked out of the wolf and rejoined it’s momma in the flock of sheep. Turns out the wolf died of internal bleating.

All credit goes to my coworker.

"Ma'am you son dried "

... but they've all been quarantined.

So we did it squid pro quo

The police are currently looking into it...

And then it hit me! I didn't see that one coming

It appears completely safe, with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and I feelshκι χoρoshό я чувствую себя немного странно и я думаю, что вытащил ослиные уши.

So, I guess you could say they're appearing at the drop of a gnat.

But the good news is that the damage appears to B minor.

It appears it was ran over and killed by curiosity.

They pared up nicely.

Jay-Z's son is playing a fighter and is engaged in a grueling fight with a troll. The troll is clearly too high a difficulty for the fighter.

"Dad," Jay-Z's son exclaims in frustration. "The troll is destroying me!" Just at that moment, from behind a nearby hill appears an army of goblins led by what appears to be an intoxicated lich.

Jay-Z looks at his son and replies with a smirk, "If you're having troll problems, I feel bad for you, son. I've got 99 goblins and a lich on rum."

I play dnd and my bard is very annoyed, that our party's druid, who is an earth genasi (appearance was described as a living statue)) won't give anyone his name.

So my bard will only address them with rock based puns until they properly introduce themselves.

...and quickly lost everything.

It was all four naughts.

He took his scythe and started chopping the carrots with me. Very scary when you are dicing with death.

They were convicted for a case of battery

Turns out I have erectile disc function

He seemed non-aggressive at first, but he’s quite angry now and it appears I’m under a tack.

They are only means to an N.

• Would you like to donate to my charity. Said the bird when landing on a tree above their heads

• What is it called? asked the man.

The bird looked them straight in the eyes and cawed four times.

The man and woman were very confused until the bird said.

• It's four good caws.

Context: I'm in a DnD campaign, for fifth edition.

So basically, one of my characters told a horrible pun to a planetar (Massive angel-like being) over Sending (A spell letting you communicate over long distances). "Whaddya call a celestial who likes to fish? An angel-er." and then he got asked to put his journal in the box that suddenly appeared behind hm, He complied, and when he got it back his name was gone from the first page of the book, and there was a golden box, that read "Tell me what I've pun, wizard" So I'm assuming he needs to answer in some sort of pun related to his name, Klaus Hallowmantle.

However, my brain is smoother than... I can't think of anything to compare it to all of a sudden. Oh well. Anyone who can help me with this?

Judas Isacarrot.

One called Justin and the other called Kristian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area:

Finally one day Justin said to Kristian. "I'm fed up with being a prawn. I wish I was a shark and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten."

A large mysterious cod appeared and said. "Your wish is granted" Low and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Kristian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.

Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.

While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn..

He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn.

With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam to Kristian's home. As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted. "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again."

Kristian replied. "No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner." Justin cried back. "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed....... I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Kristian!!.. 🤪🤣

The judge asks, “First offender?” “No,” she replies, “First, a Gibson. Second, a Fender.”

Then it hit me