My son asked me why I was taking his bedroom door off the hinges.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fukhed69
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2018
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Pulled a door off its hinges for this one.

I recently found out it's easy to take our doors off their hinges and felt the need to make this joke. http://imgur.com/gallery/qQNlty7

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πŸ‘€︎ u/killersoda275
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2014
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What rhymes with orange?

No it doesn't, "what" sounds nothing like "orange"

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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I used to be in a band called "The Hinges"

We opened for The Doors

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun and one brought some cough drops

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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My wife said, "Nothing rhymes with orange"

I said no

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyesboyee
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
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A friend of mine said to me the other day "What rhymes with Orange?"

I said "No it doesn't."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiamondUnicorn
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
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My son said, "What rhymes with orange?"

I pondered for a while and thought..."No, it doesn't."

πŸ‘︎ 236
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2017
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This guy’s walking home from work, really late, in the pitch black of night...

There isn’t another soul on the street.

Suddenly, from out of the gloom, comes an ominous bump...bump…bump.

He looks behind him and spots a furtive, shadowy thing coming down the street after him.

Unnerved, he picks up his pace, finally breaking into a panicked run.

He looks behind him again, and the shadow is closer.

Bump…bump…bump.

The glow of a streetlight illuminates the shadow momentarily, and, to the man’s horror, it is a coffin, bumping down the sidewalk.

He quickens his pace, running as fast as he can go, but the coffin only pursues more quickly.

BUMP…BUMP…BUMP!

He reaches his house, fumbles frantically for his keys, and slips in the door just as the coffin reaches his front steps.

He slams the door and leans against it, catching his breath.

Bump…bump…bump.

There is a moment’s silence, and the man wonders if he dares to breathe.

Suddenly…. Bump…bump…bump…Bump…

BUMP! BUMP!

BUMPBUMPBUMPCRAAAAASH!!!!

He rebounds away as the door breaks off its hinges.

Scrambling to his feet, he charges up the stairs, and the coffin races after.

BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP!

Terrified, he backs into a corner and starts throwing everything within reach at the coffin β€” a handful of papers, a vase, a box of crackers, a lamp β€” but the coffin keeps coming!

BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP INCHESFROMHISFACE, and nothing seems to slow it down!

His hands fall upon a bottle of cough syrup, and he throws that at the coffin, too!

The coffin stops.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2016
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I work at a door factory. I will be leaving employment there on Tuesday. I need them to "love me" I need puns stat!

Sorry, but all I have is, I need ADOORable puns.

Thank you guys, keep it coming!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ldr_Jag_Man
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2016
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My wife said "nothing rhymes with orange"

I said "No it doesn't"

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChewbaccaNZ
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2018
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What rhymes with orange

No, it doesn't.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Overlevendeftw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
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What rhymes with orange

No it doesn't

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Akaijii
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2018
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