I was walking down a hill and fell down.

That's just how I roll.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lightguyneb
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What's Harry Potter's author's favorite way of getting down a hill? Walking.

JK rolling

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/89odev
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
How does Harry Potter like to get to the bottom of a hill? Walking

J/K

Rolling

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gogo726
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What is Harry Potter's preferred method of getting down a hill? ... duh, walking

...J.K. ROLLING!!!

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/__pure
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s Harry Potter’s favorite way to get down a hill? It’s walking.

J.K. Rowling

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jethuth_Cwitht
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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Last evening I walked up the hill in the park to see the planets. Stumbled over a lip in the concrete and went down pretty hard. Ripped pants and skinned hands and knees. When I got to the top I couldn't see a thing.

The view was not worth the trip.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/I_Think_Naught
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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My Grandma was talking about the good old days and said β€œin my day we could leave the door unlocked and not worry about it!” and β€œwe grew up with nothing but we were happy”...

I replied β€œWell Grandma, I hate to break it to you, but you grew up with nothing because you kept leaving the door unlocked!”

πŸ‘︎ 426
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the-howl
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
On the way to school with my brother

So my brother and I are walking up the hill to school, we're on the verge of running late. I check my watch and say "C'mon, if we walk fast we can be there before school." He gives me a weird look: "what're you talking about, school's always been here" I swear I stopped laughing by the time we got there. I swear.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/deltalessthanzero
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2014
🚨︎ report
I've discovered my inner dad today

I was hanging out with my brother at his girlfriend's house today. I also need to mention she's the daughter of a pastor. She was feeding her pet bird some chicken when her dad walked in and scolded her for feeding meat to her bird. I said, "now hold up Pastor Hill, maybe this is what the bird should eat. After all, it is a bird of PRAY." I'm expecting a beard soon and all I wear now is cargo shorts and crocs.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jerarddude
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2016
🚨︎ report
Molassas

I heard this from my dad while up at his cattle farm, sitting on the verandah watching 2 cows walk up a hill to the yards.
Dad: What is the first cow saying?
Me: Don't know dad.
Dad: I smell molassas.
Dad: What is the second cow saying?
Me: ...
Dad: I smell cow-asses.

*Edit: new lines.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BundyBear
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2014
🚨︎ report
How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking...

JK Rowling

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1Tph1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
🚨︎ report
What's Harry Potter's favorite way of getting down a hill?..... walking

JK ROLLING

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Squach509
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2017
🚨︎ report
How does harry potter get down a hill? Walking of course...

jk Rolling

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/photogenicquark
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
🚨︎ report
What's the fastest way for Harry Potter to get down a hill? Walking.

JK, rolling

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mmmdddmmm
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2016
🚨︎ report
I Tried to Walk up a Hill Today without a Watch

But I had neither the time, nor the inclination.

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bentnotbroken96
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2018
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report

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