Hickes Puns

It's false labor.

Turns out it was just Toni Braxton Hicks

So the two girls get invited to a dance. The country girl thinks this might be too high brow for her, and tells her cousin, “Golly, them city fellers might think I’m just a dumb hick.” Her cousin says, “Don’t worry. Just do as I do and you’ll be fine.” After hours of dancing they got tired, so they sat down. Another guy comes and asks the city girl to dance. She smiles sweetly and says “I’m contemplating matrimony and I think I’d like to sit.” So when the next guy comes up to ask the country girl to dance she smiles confidently and says, “I’m constipated on macaroni and I think I’d like to shit.”

Original in Mandarin, so I may not have done the best job translating.

A country boy comes into the city for the first time in his life. He's never seen a skyscraper before, so he's standing on the street staring up in amazement. A city slicker walks by and says, "Excuse me sir, you realize there's a tax for counting stories don't you?"

"Oh, OK"

"How many stories did you count on this building?"

"10"

"That'll be 10 dollars please"

The country boy hands over the 10 dollars. The city guy takes the money and walks away, thinking to himself, "what a dumb hick, who'd believe such a thing as a counting-stories tax?"

The country boy walked away pretty pleased with himself, thinking, "what a dumb official, I actually counted 20 stories"