A set of quadruplets went in to the local doctor's office for their annual check up. Once they were finished, the doctor asked to speak with them all in his private office.
As the four of them; Jeb, Richard, Lee, and the eldest John Hickleford Jr. entered the room and took seats, the doctor shook his head. "I've got bad news and I've got good news boys" he said.
Jeb, the spokesman of the group, immediately said, "Well, tell us the bad news first, and then spring the good news on us."
"Alright," continued the doctor. "The bad news is that one of you only has six months to live. The good news is that the other three of you will live long, healthy lives."
All four boys sprang from their chairs, making incoherent noises of protest. After settling them down, Jeb turned to the doctor and solemnly asked: "Hick or Lee, Dick or me, Doc?"
It told me one of the doors was ajar. And I was like "No, I'm pretty sure that's a door."
So the two girls get invited to a dance. The country girl thinks this might be too high brow for her, and tells her cousin, “Golly, them city fellers might think I’m just a dumb hick.” Her cousin says, “Don’t worry. Just do as I do and you’ll be fine.” After hours of dancing they got tired, so they sat down. Another guy comes and asks the city girl to dance. She smiles sweetly and says “I’m contemplating matrimony and I think I’d like to sit.” So when the next guy comes up to ask the country girl to dance she smiles confidently and says, “I’m constipated on macaroni and I think I’d like to shit.”
Original in Mandarin, so I may not have done the best job translating.
A country boy comes into the city for the first time in his life. He's never seen a skyscraper before, so he's standing on the street staring up in amazement. A city slicker walks by and says, "Excuse me sir, you realize there's a tax for counting stories don't you?"
"Oh, OK"
"How many stories did you count on this building?"
"10"
"That'll be 10 dollars please"
The country boy hands over the 10 dollars. The city guy takes the money and walks away, thinking to himself, "what a dumb hick, who'd believe such a thing as a counting-stories tax?"
The country boy walked away pretty pleased with himself, thinking, "what a dumb official, I actually counted 20 stories"
