I have Johnny Apple Tree, Gilbert Grape, Don Lemon, Olive Earl, Partricia Pear Tree...
What do I call the blueberries??
EDIT: We plan to place it on the mug as a gift, so it should be relatively short
Ok guys my 1 year anniversary is coming up with my boyfriend and I'm making a pun book with 365 Puns about love and I'm running out can you help me PLEASE
I'm currently developing a game for my studies based on the old windows Game Pipe Dream (or Pipe Mania). It is two player and competitive where each player works for one of two rival companies. The game has a steampunk theme and each company is represented by a different colour. Green is Greenpunk Industries. I need your help, pun masters of reddit, in coming up with a pun for the Blue company.
Nobody seems to give me a straight answer
It was posted about a weak back.
True story: the wife and I were walking in Target this evening. We were walking in the clothing section, behind an employee who was moving a mannequin. Out of nowhere the whole arm pops off, and the poor woman can’t bend to pick it up because… ya know… she’s holding the rest of the mannequin. So I walk up, grab the limb while she’s looking around for another employee to help, hold it out to her and say…
“Here, let me give you a hand”
She took it. No laughter. My wife? Nothing. So I am posting here in the hopes that my genius will be appreciated. Keep getting those dad jokes in the wild, folks.
Our moms club has a scarecrow that needs a name. She is wearing a red coat and has a cape with hand prints on it. Her hair is a colorful yarn braid. Thank you for your assistance
Thereisnospacebar
“Push” and “Pull”.
But, it was worth a shot.
I’m in a band and writing a song about how fucked the healthcare system is in America. Can anyone suggest a clever pun title for the song?
My Father had open heart surgery a year ago, a quadruple bypass and to celebrate 1 year of surviving I wanted to get him his favorite cake But I wanted it to say something a little hearty He loves puns and I wanted to do something special for him
Any help is appreciated!
I’m helping hubby with his Secret Santa gifts at work, and we have his gifted convinced that it’s one of the weather team members because of the weather-related jokes we’ve been adding.
Can you help me come up with a Grinch themed joke about the weather??
Let me just start with some backstory. My wife and I recently had an electrical fire due to a short in our dryer wiring. Thankfully we were able to prevent significant damage to our home, but we no longer have a working washer or dryer. I work as an RN on a Medical-Surgical floor and only have three full uniforms. So we have to do a load of laundry at least once a week. In order to make sure I have sanitized uniforms, we have been doing weekly trips to our local coin operated laundromat (Gold’s Laundry). Last week, my wife took our laundry in and washed two loads. While the second load was in the washer, she said she could smell acrid smoke coming from the machine and it abruptly stopped working. Thankfully there was an attendant in the building, so my wife notified them of the issue. The attendant came over and asked her to empty the machine so he could look inside. When she pulled out the clothes, there was a small amount of change in the bottom of the basin. The attendant told my wife that the loose change had caused the issue and that we would be responsible for paying for repairs. My wife felt that it was highly unlikely that loose change could cause the issues and told this to the attendant. The attendant became argumentative and threatened to call the police. My wife told the attendant to go ahead and call them because he was being so aggressive and argumentative. Once the police arrived, they told my wife that she was indeed in the wrong and arrested her for money laundering.
"They're under sea", she said
I could only roll my eyes. Everyone knows that.
Hey guys, I’m looking for the WORST possible puns you can come up with, with the added challenge of them not being super common ones.
Make me want to bang my face against a wall!
Edit: Thanks for all the puns so far, they’re utterly horrible! The more the better ;)
Send Lawyers, Guns, and money, divorce has hit the fan!
It's my thirty second birthday
She responds, “well, Kelly’s husband Mike fixes those things but he’s pretty tall.”
The man pulls out a handkerchief. He coughs and hacks into it and - a coin falls out of his mouth!
The doctor pulls out a magnifying glass and examines the coin. It's a piece of outdated Danish currency, with FREDERIK IX KONGE AF DANMARK stamped around the rim.
"Ah, I see," the doctor says. "Another case of kronervirus."
Asking for a friend.
But now i found something that is even grater
Turns out they were a mathemagician
He asked if the issue was the “loose nut behind the wheel.”
Took us both a minute to get it.
The punchline is: “Yeah, but Dad, they do.” Need a reason Fred Flintstone would tell his dad this sentence.
Example: What did FF say to his dad when his dad told him “__”? Answer: “Yeah, but Dad, they do.”
Need a pun based on 4 dudes that host a radio show or podcast. I need it to work as a 80s or 90s sitcom title.
It didn’t end well.
Now, I can differentiate logs
Here we go again, 2 more dressed as policemen!
Hey guys, if you could I would love any input on helping me making Chihuahua puns! If you can think of any please comment them🙏🙏🙏
Unfortunately, it's an Autobiography.
Hey guys, need some puns for cereal flavours and im hitting a blank wall. i have come up with skullberry and cinnamon bone crunch but i need quite a few and theres only so many skeleton puns i know (forgot to mention its skeleton/cereal puns). any help is appreciated.
flavours i have in mind are... berry fruit loops coco puffs cinnamon toast crunch honey
But I stand corrected!
Those were the darkest days of my life.
The Cairo-practor.
I (f13) am looking for some cringe pickup lines to tell my friends (male) when I see them on Sunday for the lols,and feel as though you would be the best people to help
Edit: I just realised it would be cool id they were dnd related as we are doing that
... everyone can see that you're behind me, 100%
I told her - that sounds more like a ewe problem.
