On Teams Chat Boss: “When should we meet tomorrow?” Me: “Morning works best for me” Boss: “10-4” Me: “I don’t think it needs to be 6 hours”
Even planes get high on it.
...spelling mistakes?
Chemistry
I really need the validation.
...too many red flags
Gonna do it at a nice steakhouse. Thinking about what I should say, but I also want to throw in a "dad joke" to make her laugh a bit since she likes those.
... I think it's caught the car owner virus"
Customer asks him, "Are you the shuttle?" He replies, "the shuttle is over there, I'm the driver!"
Customer and I had a good laugh at that one!
But it was just a racket. 😞
They've been away all year.
She gave zero F’s.
He is always sub pa.
He’s a real stand up guy.
An independ ant A deepend ant
I mean, who's better at breaking the ice than an icebreaker?
So I am building a stone retaining wall at my house after work yesterday. Been at it for about an hour and a half before my fiance gets home from her job. She stops on the porch, looks at me, and just says, 'You Rockstar!' I couldn't help but smile. PS, I then had to tell her about this subreddit...
I told them to go to my website.
So, I work at papa johns, and while I was making pizza, one of my managers yelled
"Someone catch the oven!"
To which I replied
"I didn't know it was running away!"
Groans were had, and only one person laughed
I work as a cashier and was ringing up an older gentleman's items for him.
Me: It's $8.30 sir.
Him: (looks up from his wallet and smiles) No it's only 8:01
I stared at him and giggled like a kid when I realized what happened. Made my day.
Working a huge rush and have to drop 10 breaded wings for an order. Forgot what sauce to toss them in.
Me: what were those 10 wings again?
Tyler: Chicken!
Me: ...
We'd be a really shitty hospital if we didn't have any patience.
This guy comes in to eat all the time. When he came in today, one of the hostesses asked him, "Anywhere specific you would like to sit today?", as he usually likes to sit next to a window. The customer responded, "Well, in a chair would be lovely."
Me: "Are you looking for something special today?"
Customer: "Not really, we're about to change all the windows in our house so I can't really afford anything right now."
Me: "Oh, so you're just window shopping, then."
Got a confused "eheh, yeaa" and a weird look but it was worth it.
I work in the claims department at a life insurance company. A recent addition to our department mentioned that she had an insured who died from a bowel obstruction. I couldn't help but say: "Sounds like a real shitty way to go..."
We work in a screen printing shop and we also have a vehicle wrap department.
Me: Are you going to do signs today or are you going to wrap?
Terry: No, I don't rap, I sing.
sigh
