Teleme-tree. When you like Christmas and heart rhythms i.reddituploads.com/7ec20…
πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/omicrontheta1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2016
🚨︎ report
Dad joke in ER

Last night, my girlfriend's grandma was admitted to a nearby hospital for a heart rhythm abnormality. The admitting physician was a great guy, and concluded his admission assessment with a spontaneous, and entirely unrelated, dad joke.

"Did you hear about the two burglars who stole a calendar? They each got six months."

He promptly dropped his stethoscope and left. Boom.

πŸ‘︎ 162
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2014
🚨︎ report
Sunday Morning Sex

Dad sent this yesterday. Ouch.

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/time2change76
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.