Today I found out that you can actually hear the blood flowing through your veins.
You just have to listen varicosely.
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︎ Jan 24 2021
Did you hear about the guy trying out for editor for the sums series of Math Magazine?
It was an addition edition audition.
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︎ Nov 02 2020
Did you hear about the guy who makes comics out of tiny colourful plastic discs?
He is a sequintial artist.
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︎ Dec 17 2020
Hear about that superhero knock-off group that keeps ordering drinks but pour out all the liquid?
Apparently they call themselves the Just Ice League
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︎ Nov 30 2020
Ok hear me out
<GUTEN> should have been an HTML tag because it would be the guten tag.
How has nobody thought of this.
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︎ Sep 02 2020
Did you hear about the new Halloween movie where the guy screams his lungs out?
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︎ Oct 31 2020
Did you hear about the neighbors floor made out of 10,000 pennies?
Looks like a hundred bucks!
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︎ Oct 05 2020
You hear about the new bomb made out of horses?
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︎ Jul 05 2020
Did you hear about the midget fortune teller that broke out of jail?
Police are saying there is a small medium at large
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︎ Aug 14 2020
Did you hear that they came out with a cure for the Coronavirus?
Me neither... But apparently it's a riot!
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︎ Jun 15 2020
"Hey honey did you hear they came out with a male birth control cream?"
It's being marketed as Son-block.
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︎ May 23 2020
Did you hear that Mick Jagger and Keith Richards had a huge falling out because Mick wouldn't stop speaking in broken Spanish?
When asked about it in an interview, Mick confirmed that "The Rolling Stones gather no mas"
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︎ Jun 03 2020
hear me out: if sound is a wave
then I already know sine language!
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︎ Jan 25 2020
Did you hear about the landscaper that got kicked out of college?
They found him changing grades.
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︎ Apr 27 2020
Did you hear about the rock star who broke a 13 year old out of jail?
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︎ Mar 29 2020
Did you hear about the cow who dropped out of school to start a computer business?
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︎ Feb 14 2020
After letting out a trumpet of a fart my toddler stopped, gasped and said, "did you just hear that elephant?"
She's going to be a great dad someday.
Edit: predicted text
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︎ Apr 04 2019
Did you hear of that fake metal that was fraudulently sold to companies as "steel"? It turned out to be an alloy mostly made up of tin. Guess you can call it FORGED steel
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︎ Nov 26 2019
Did you guys hear about AT&T and Verizon dropping out of an upcoming conference due to corona virus concerns?
Itβs probably a good thing considering theyβre both well-known carriers.
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︎ Feb 24 2020
I can hear music coming out of my printer.
I think the papers jamminβ again!
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︎ Nov 07 2019
Shout out to my grandma, that's the only way she can hear.
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︎ Sep 20 2019
Did you hear about the astronaut that accidentally flew out into open space?
He couldn't understand the gravity of the situation.
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︎ Feb 06 2020
Did you hear about the Indian restaurant that didn't run out of bread?
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︎ Jan 20 2020
Did you hear that the police have a warrant out on a midget psychic ripping people off?
It reads βSmall medium at large.β
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︎ Nov 15 2019
Did you hear about the young genie who got a job and moved out of his parents' lamp to a one bedroom necklace?
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︎ Mar 01 2019
Did you hear about the movie called Constipated? it hasn't come out yet.
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︎ Nov 18 2019
Did you hear the supermarket took its entire breakfast aisle, put it on a truck, and started giving items out all over town?
They call it the Universal Cereal Bus.
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︎ Dec 29 2019
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︎ Feb 02 2020
Did you hear about the batman sculpture made out of snow?
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︎ Dec 24 2019
Did you hear about the quarry that went out of business?
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︎ Aug 11 2019
Did you hear about the man locked out of his house in wet clothes?
Police say he dried of natural causes
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︎ May 27 2019
Did you hear about the guy that fell out of the tree and on to the bike with no seat?
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︎ Sep 12 2019
Did you ever hear that they named Canada pulling letters out of a hat?
The person drawing them said, "C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?"
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︎ May 18 2019
βDid you hear about the kidnapping at out school today?β
βNo what happened?β
βThe teacher woke him up.β
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︎ Apr 09 2019
Did you hear the recent electrifying news about a drunken idiot who climbed a power pole and got the crap shocked out of him?
It's good to keep up on current events.
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︎ Sep 21 2019
Did you hear about the pumpkin seeds that were drilled out, and then left alone with nothing to entertain them?
They were bored out of their gourd.
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︎ Oct 29 2019
Did you hear there is a book coming out about how to overcome procrastination?
The author started writing it 50 years ago.
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︎ Oct 15 2019
So I hear they're coming out with another sequel to Undertale, but this time, the final boss is an extinct giant shark.
His boss battle theme will be called Megalodonia.
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︎ Nov 21 2019
I can't hear out of my ear...
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︎ Nov 12 2019
Please hear me out. Itβs not much, but it says a lot
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︎ Jul 27 2019
Did you hear that cats have carried out a Coup in Barcelona and declared independence from Spain?
They're calling themselves the Republic of Catalo-nya.
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︎ Jun 17 2019
Did you hear about the stressed out alcoholic last night?
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︎ Sep 07 2019
Hey Cousin Bruce! Did you hear that my mom goes out and fights crime?
Bruce: Yeah! She's the best vigilAUNTIE out there.
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︎ Oct 10 2019
Did you hear that the police have a warrant out on a midget psychic ripping people off?
It reads βSmall medium at large.β
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︎ Nov 04 2019
Did you hear that the police have a warrant out on a midget psychic ripping people off?
It reads βSmall medium at large.β
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︎ Nov 02 2019
Did you hear that the police have a warrant out on a midget psychic ripping people off?
It reads βSmall medium at large.β
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︎ Nov 17 2019
Did you hear that the police have a warrant out on a midget psychic ripping people off?
It reads βSmall medium at large.β
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︎ Nov 13 2019
Did you hear that the police have a warrant out on a midget psychic ripping people off?
It reads βSmall medium at large.β
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︎ Nov 04 2019
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