Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins?
You just have to listen varicosely
I listen to every type of music except heavy metal
Because heavy metals are toxic.
(I -22f- have created this joke when i was 15, I was waiting for an opportunity to disgust people with it. So here you go reddit lol)
A kid asked his dad, "what kind of music did you listen to growing up?" The dad said "I was big into Led Zeppelin." The son asked "who?"
"Yeah" the dad replied, "I liked them too."
My Wife Constantly Asks If I’m Listening to What She’s Saying
Such a weird way to start a conversation.
An answer in a listening test was "specific background material" and a classmate asked if it was ok to just write "background material"
The teacher said it had to be specific
What do liberal metalheads listen to?
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
What kind of music did the pilgrims listen to:
What music do chickens listen to?
I tried telling my friend some deer fun facts but he wasn't interested in listening to me.
I feel he isn't fawned of them.
My wife tells me I have 2 major faults,
I don't listen - and something else.
I've been listening to Pink Floyd for an hour.
I think I'll skip to track 2 now.
My wife said, “You really have no sense of direction, do you?”
I said, “Where did that come from?”
Edit: Thanks for the love. I’m right speechless.
My granddad tried to tell everyone that would listen that the Titanic would sink...
They finally kicked him out of the theater.
I let my cat outside today but when I started listening to Daft Punk she rushed back inside
I guess she is more of a house cat
My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?"
What a strange way to start a conversation with me...
What’s the best music to listen to on a hike
I have a hard time listening to people explain how to sharpen knives.
It’s very dull at the beginning.
My friend was listening to Chinese rap.
What music genre won’t balloons listen to?
My son asked me “What music did you listen to when you were young?” I said, “Pete Townshend”.
My son: Who?
Me: Exactly.
Listened to orchestra last night.
Listened to Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra last night.
Halfway through the concert the man playing the triangle disappeared.
I can’t listen to to classical music anymore, it overwhelms my senses.
I simply cannot Handel it.
My wife says I've been listening to a lot of 80s rock recently
Don't ever listen to anyone telling you that you can't be something you want to!!.....
Everyone told Beethoven too that he can't be a musician just because he was deaf........
Did He Listen???!!
Alright listen up, because I’m only going to say this once
I’m getting tired of listening to my military friend talk about using UAVs...
He just drones on and on.
I was just sitting on the couch when my friend tells me, “your not even listening to me.”
I thought that’s a very weird way to start a conversation.
I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, “You’re an 8 on a scale of 10.”
I still don’t get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...
Listening to sonic heroes makes me want to destroy a certain amount of robots
What music do frogs listen to?
I listened to Queen albums for 12 hours in a row, and now I feel a little sick.
It must be the high Mercury content.
Martha had always listened to her parents when they said ‘stay away from fire’, but today, her interests got the best of her and she intentionally lit herself on fire just to see what it felt like.
Martha was burning with curiosity
What kind of music do you listen to while fishing?
My wife said she wants me to stop listening to Wonderwall…
No one wants to listen to Whitesnake with me !
So here I go again on my own
My wife often complains that I'm a poor listener
But the truth is, I've a terrible sense of direction.
I always get lost in my thoughts.
Just listened to W.A.P...
It reminded me to bath my cat.
I hate it when my wife says "Are you listening to me?!"
Such a random way to start a conversation.
Son, What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Huh, they listen to Wrap music !
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
My son asked me, “What was your favourite music to listen to when growing up?” I said, “Led Zeppelin”.
My son: Who?
Me: Yes, they were good too.
What kind of music do dogs listen to?
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