I don't have very good social skills and it cost me my job, delivering fruit.
I was driving people bananas!
I used to have a job collecting leaves.
Why does every job site have rules about dissected frogs?
Seems like it would be obvious not to wear open-toad shoes around construction.
I used to have a job at the Canada Dry factory.
I ran the hydraulic machine that crushed the ginger to make the ginger ale.
I had to quit though. That job was soda pressing.
I used to have a job with the circus as a human cannonball...
I used to have a good life , successful job and health
Then i stopped playing Sims
I got a job at a farm but I resigned because they didn't have horses
I wanted something more stable
I've been trying to get a job as a dealer in one of the casinos but none of them will hire me because I have a bad habit of biting my nails. so I got a job as a plumber last week.
I start dealing at the casino on Monday
My wife was very impressed when I told her I have 500 people under me at my new job.
She was slightly less impressed when she found out I cut the grass at our local cemetery.
I used to have a job drilling holes for water
I took a job stocking the spice shelves at my local supermarket, but I have a few other responsibilities too.
It's only part thyme work.
I told my father I don’t have a job anymore. I told him I couldn’t work for that man after what he told me
“What did he tell you ?” he asked
“He said I was fired”.
My perfect job? Would have been an olde timey elevator operator
It has its ups, and its downs; I'd always know what to expect.
I have a feeling that I’ll be fired from my job at the graffiti removal company.
The writing is on the wall.
Everyone hates one-uppers. Your day was hard, their day was harder. You got a new job, their job is better. You have 5 bands, they have 6. You went to Tennessee,
They went to elevennessee
I have finished childproofing my home but I didn't do a good job.
My kids are still able to get in the house.
I have a job where I get to crush cans for a living!
I used to have a job assembling tiny pieces of cheese.
Rocket scientists must have a hard job
They can never say it isn’t rocket science
I used to have a job at a calendar factory.
But I got fired because I took a couple of days off.
I used to have a job explaining all those pictures and symbols they use on maps...
...man, I was a legend over there.
I used to have a job cutting holes to make trapdoors for theatres.
It was just a stage I was going through.
My girlfriend is a history teacher. It's a good job but I have to dump her.
She won't stop bringing up the past.
Have you seen the price for a boob job lately!?!?
I guess that’s just the cost of inflation.
What's the worst job to have?
A job in roofing. You'll never make any money, all your work is on the house.
I hope I make it on the podcast!
The weirdest summer job I have ever had was cleaning the monkey cages at our local zoo.
I used to have a job selling loose potatoes...
...till they gave me the sack
I have the most boring job in the world. All I do is crush cans.
Why did the archeologist have to get a new job?
Because her career was in ruins!
Wife mad. Construction of new house has stalled - builder has just walked off the job. Early on, we had a series of increasingly heated discussions about costs, but I thought we'd settled the money question. But now it seems the final straw is a disagreement we have over the price of the chimney...
I am insisting that the chimney has to be on the house... but that builder, what he wants is just through the roof!
I used to have a job shredding cheese.
I wasn't too bad, but I could have been grater.
I have a friend who a Phd in interactions of matter and energy at all length and time scales in the physical universe. The only job he could get was at a soda factory.
In a roundabout way, he did become a fizzicist.
Did you know that tile-layers have some of the lowest job satisfaction out there?
The slow, boring process and often unfulfilling result leaves them very grout-chy
I have a Polish friend who has a job as a sound engineer...
I have a Czech one too...
Why doesn’t the bullet have a steady job
Because it keeps getting fired
A priest in a big church in Paris has a job interview with a new bell ringer. The priest asks “why should I hire you?” The applicant responded “I have a special talent!”
“Oh, and what is this special talent?” Asked the priest.
The applicant walked up to the bells and slammed his face into the bell.
At first the priest was taken aback, but the sound from the bells was heavenly!
“You’re hired!!” He exclaimed.
The applicant jumped around in excitement and slipped, falling off the side of the belfry to the ground below.
The priest ran downstairs and outside to the sidewalk where the bell ringer lay dead.
A bystander asked “who is he?”
The priest responded “I don’t know his name, but his face sure rings a bell!”
Getting interviewed for a job as a blacksmith: Interviewer: Do you have any experience shoeing a horse?
Me: No, but I once told a donkey to F off.
I’m a delivery driver that delivers bread products, whilst on my round today a gentleman dropped this on me.....”looks like you have the best job” he says, “why is that?” I ask, because you must be loaded with dough!!!
My grandpa used to have a job keeping score at baseball games. Every time someone scored a run, he'd whack up a mark on a chalkboard.
Nowadays you'd call him a scorekeeper, but back then he was a tally whacker.
You always have to keep your job exciting.
Being a well driller, I often dream I could drill right to the center of the earth.
If I didn't have such a great imagination my job would be just boring.
Have you heard? Dr. Dolittle's son was fired from another job.
He was really living up to his name, Will Dolittle
I used to have a job collecting LEAVES.
I have a feeling that I’m about to lose my job at the graffiti removal company.
The writing is on the wall.
I have a job crushing soda cans...
I used to have a job crushing pop cans
I used to have a job collecting leaves...
I used to have a job collecting leaves
I have a job crushing coke cans
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