Jack and the Bean stalk.
..it's a brand-new Rolex."
not on my watch”
I responded “But you’re not a freezer.”
I could feel the eye roll down the street.
So a black sheep took it upon himself to run into the woods to stop the birds. And it worked! The moral of the story? Lonely ewe can prevent forest flyers.
Cumin resources
She wanted to talk to the task manager.
One called Justin and the other called Kristian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area:
Finally one day Justin said to Kristian. "I'm fed up with being a prawn. I wish I was a shark and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten."
A large mysterious cod appeared and said. "Your wish is granted" Low and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Kristian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.
Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.
While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn..
He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn.
With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam to Kristian's home. As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted. "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again."
Kristian replied. "No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner." Justin cried back. "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed....... I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Kristian!!.. 🤪🤣
But damn that is a fine line.
I've really hit Rock bottom
The H Arrgghh department
Student: I'm in love with a girl and harassment a lot to me.
She was checking me out.
Harassment nothing to me.
I got arrested. They found a ruler, a pencil and a protractor. I was charged with carrying weapons of math instruction
And I thought to myself, well that’s a little condescending.
sorry it’s a repost of myself. My original post got removed for hate speech and harassment
Dad: No, but I'll wrestle for it
Me: I'd like to check these [books] out.
Librarian: Sorry, that's actually against the rules.
Me: Huh?
Librarian: You see, checking them out only makes them shelf conscious.
- Harass son
- Fjord
She ended up saying 'fundled'. Wife asked "what is fundled?"
I said, "it's the type of harassment you can't get sued for."
A little back-story. He's in college while I'm about to finish school.
Him: Haha, you're still in school, kiddo. I'm ANCIENT!
Me: I would totally exploit your ruins!
Him: Wooww, smooth.
Me: I'm so sorry for textually harassing you...
..it's a brand new Rolex."
I walked up to the guy, punched him right in the face.
No one does that to a girl...... not on my watch.
Not on my Watch
An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was harassing some woman at that party. Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch.
Later on I saw some guy harassing a woman while standing on it, so I walked up and punched him in the face.
Nobody does that to a woman.... not on my watch
An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was sexually harassing some woman at the party. Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch.
An hour later I saw some guy standing on it while he was harassing some woman. Infuriated, I immediately went over and punched him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch.
Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl, not on my watch.
An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was sexually harassing some woman at that party. Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch.
Saw a man step on it while harassing a girl.
I said, “No one does that to a woman. Not on my watch.”
An hour later I saw a guy stepping on it while he was sexually harassing a woman at that party. Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch.
Two prawns, Justin and Christian, were constantly harassed by sharks.
Finally Justin said to Christian, "I'm fed up being a prawn. I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't worry about being eaten by one."
A large, mysterious cod appeared and said, "Your wish is granted", and lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark.
Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his former friend.
Time passed, Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old pals simply swam away whenever he came close to them.
While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and Justin begged to be changed back to a prawn. And he was!
What a miraculous thing!
With tears of joy in his tiny little prawn-eyes, Justin swam back to his friends. But looking around the reef couldn't see his old pal.
"Where's Christian?" he asked. "He's at home, distraught at his best friend changing sides to the enemy and becoming a shark," came the reply.
Eager to put things right, Justin set off to Christian's abode. Opening its coral gate, memories came flooding back.
He banged on the door and shouted, "Christian! It's me, Justin, your old friend! Come out, and see me again!
Christian replied, "No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner."
Justin cried back, "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed...
"I've found Cod! I'm a prawn again Christian!"
