Hairsplitting Puns

I see this often online but also in person as well.

One vegan is okay using salvaged leather, to the eyes of the vegan across the table they’re not vegan.

One vegan uses the non vegan hand soap at a friends house but their other friend packed his own because otherwise he’s not vegan.

One vegan dates a non vegan who has meat eating pets and suddenly they’re not seen as vegan because the snake has to eat and they’re running to the store to buy a frozen mouse.

One vegan relies on medication that was tested on animals for health and to another vegan, they’re not!

One vegan uses a food bank to feed themselves and their kids and can’t afford to decline what’s offered…still vegan if there’s cheese in the pasta sauce?

Are you vegan if you pick products that destroy the planet over secondhand products made from animals? Depends who you ask.

So where does the line fall? Either everyone who self identifies as vegan is vegan regardless of their discrepancies or no one is. My boyfriend who identifies as vegan was told he isn’t, because he’s dating a non vegan. This community can’t seem to figure themselves out!

I’m sure there are countless other examples. Culture, science, geographical location, living arrangements, religion, art, employment, and so on and so forth.

As far as I can tell, vegans are a myth outside of some very strict monastery somewhere.

There’s a lot of things that people take as fact that just aren’t, and I’m dedicating a post to clear them up.

EDIT: to clarify, people say these things with certainty as if they are confirmed fact. I’m not here to say that they aren’t true, but rather not confirmed fact. Nevertheless Some of them aren’t true, some of them are, and I’ve been corrected in the thread (thankfully). Ill be engaging less snd less, as there’s so many comments, but def not responding to ppl being glib or condescending about comic books.

• Ben Beckman is nearly as strong as Shanks: we don’t know this is true. His vivre card doesn’t say this, and I don’t think it even implies it.
• Shanks’ crew is full of haki users without Devil fruits: Put aside whether or not you want this to be true, we don’t know that it is. Shanks could have a Devil fruit. We don’t know.
• Shanks and Mihawk are or were ongoing rivals: 12 years ago, maybe, but it’s hardly a rivalry if you two aren’t competing with one another for over a decade? And as far as we know, they only dueled once.
• Akainu has the most powerful Devil fruit: His vivre card doesn’t actually say that, and just for funsies, we don’t know that he’s more capable than any other admiral, past or present.
• Akainu would find the One piece in one year, so he’s clearly the strongest in the series: or something to that effect. This wasn’t the point of this quote from Oda. Read it again.
• If Oda doesn’t draw the character blackening, they’re not using haki: This is just not true. Take Pekoms vs Caribou, Luffy vs Caesar round 1 and 2, Tashigi vs Monet, Luffy vs Pacifista, ans im sure there are others. We also know that a character needn’t be aware they’re using haki or capable of using it to use it. So for example, BM could have totally been using haki against the Udon prisoners and Queen. She also could not have been. It’s inconsistently depicted in the manga.
• Luffy is included in the ten crewmates and there won’t be anymore: Not according to this interview by Oda. By this point, July 24 2018, Jinbe was a member of the crew according to Luffy, and

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Hey Mods.

Does "oddlyterrifying" mean things which are both "odd" (uncommon) and also "terrifying"? Something like Freak accidents? Monsters? Natural disasters?

Or does it mean terrifying; but unintentionally so; or for no discernible reason? Artefacts which may tap into an obscure phobia, like the uncanny valley?

Taking the sub title literally, the latter makes better grammatical sense.

I know this sounds like hairsplitting, but many users are frustrated with popular posts on r/oddlyterrifying leaning more into the "terrifying" aspect. A lot of these are exclusively scary and have nothing odd about them, besides maybe being unexpected or unordinary. Some are entirely scripted or intended to be scary.

There is a lot of great posts here, but in my opinion, the sub should not exist if the content does not fulfil a strict niche. Users already have a plethora of other vaguely weird and scary subreddits to choose from.

This argument is made so frequently for good reason.

A genuine threat to human life is not exactly an "odd" thing to be afraid of, however you interpret the word. Posts like that should be removed entirely, and maybe the 3 rules could do with a little fleshing out too. The sub has 1.7m members, it is a prime target for karma farmers.

Feel free to share any disagreements.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

And boy are my arms legs.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

Hey ladies and germs,

It seems to me like the major question in regard to Christian dating is "to what degree is the person that I am/will marry in God's control, and to what degree is it my responsibility to find the said person?" Although we will never know the full answer to the question, here are my thoughts.

I have heard of many marriages where the two just found each other, it was a "God wink" and they loved each other at first sight (or maybe 81st sight) and got married. Point is, both people clearly agree that it was clearly God's doing, not to their credit. Now, we have heard these stories, and I think some of us hear them and think, "well, I'm just going to sit around and pray, earnestly pursue the Lord, seek first the kingdom and His righteousness, and the Lord will deliver me a godly man/woman that will someday become my spouse." And honestly, although many may scoff at that idea, it sounds like the correct approach! Great, that is, until it doesn't work. I also know several stories of men and women who have taken on this approach and are still regrettably single. It seems to me like if they could go back, they would take a different view on Christian dating, one that is more effective.

I think it should be this way: Yes, trust in the Lord, for He alone keeps you alive, sustains any relationship, and knows who's better for you than you do. However, when Jesus heals the man who is invalid, he said to him “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.”. Obviously, he was healed, but he was healed as a consequence of his faith, had he not actually picked up the mat, and believed that he was legitimately healed, he probably wouldn't have been. I think the same sort of thing applies to dating, yes, pray constantly, earnestly pursue Him, seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, but give God some faith to work with. I had a professor who said something to the effect of, "don't work so much on finding the right person as you do becoming the right person". That is, of course, pursuing holiness.

Someone may think I'm hairsplitting, but I think this is important. I have heard so many awful pieces of advice from Christians who usually mean well but give hazy answers to questions about dating. I have had several occasions where I ask my friends or even people who I assume to be much wiser about the matter of pursuing Godly relationships who will tell me "just get on your knees and pray about it" while failing to mention any degree of responsibility

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!