Need some debating puns please

Have to write some shit for the school magazine about debating. Just anything even vaguely related to it, the worse the better. Cheers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Varelse21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2013
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not to start any debate but..blue is cool.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lockmessedup998
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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Settle a pun debate

I asked two friends for the best pun Bond would utter if he'd just shoved a bad guy into a huge industrial deep-fat fryer. Their responses were:

Friend #1: "Play with fryer, get burnt.
(Isn't there an old saying of don't play with fire unless you want to get burnt?)"

Friend #2: "Why is my instinct to say cool off there?
Let's assume it's christmas. 'Thats a real Crisped Kringle' is what I'd say
Or do I know the guy's dad? Let's say I do. 'Youre a chip of the old block'"

I know, I need new friends. Do me a favour redditors and please tell me whose pun is least awful? And if you have any better ones, I'm all ears! (Mine was "Thank God it's fry day", I'm sure you can all do better).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/creaky_thumbs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Debate is over, Santa is real...

I felt his presents

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πŸ‘€︎ u/linkhandford
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he’d walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.

He’ll come around, eventually.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MohanBhargava
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
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When debating letters, you always want "i" and "j" on your team.

They always have a point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xero19
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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There was a debate whether or not if French fries were cooked in France...

I say they were cooked in Greece.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rizjwiz1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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There was a debate suggesting the environment isn’t that important after all.

It was pretty anti-climatic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Karrathan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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Why do we use debate?

We use debate to catch de-fish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bart_904
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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The iPhone vs Android debate has to stop!

It's too devicive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KlydesHail
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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If you mask debate too often, you might go blind.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hypocreton
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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Joe Rogan hosting a presidential debate
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WyattsQuietRiot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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Y’all think last night’s debate was bad...

To this day the Lincoln-Douglas debate of β€˜58 is literally unwatchable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoYouWantAunts
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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Didn't learn much with the last debate, but

We did find out that Pence is actually pretty fly, for a white guy!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pipessqueak
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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A pole to help with your next debate
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πŸ‘€︎ u/k8lin70
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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I'm a homeless debater.

I beg to differ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thepootastrophy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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Just PUTIN this here for everyone to see.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaceAltair
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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I’m debating whether I should cross the river on foot or use my rowboat...

It’s row v. wade.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LavenderBlue_
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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I was going to join the debating team.

But somebody talked me out of it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/afranc72
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
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After debating with a needle

I saw his point

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
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A group of friends are heading through Louisville and a debate ensues as to how to pronounce the name of the city.

One says it's Lewis-Ville. The next one says the locals say Lew-ville and the last one says they say Lewie-ville. After arguing for a few minutes they see a place to get some lunch. They all agree it would be great to hear how the locals pronounce the name of their city. They all go up to the counter and one says, could you tell me where we are and please say it slowly. BURR-GURR-KIIING!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timthedriller
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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What has questionable principles and flies?

Mike pence during tonight’s debate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anddditburns
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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I get very heated when debating global warming with deniers.

Some might say I need to cool it down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChummusJunky
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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I was at dinner and me and my brother were having a debate and he said β€œYou know what would suck”

And my dad yelled β€œA straw!!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Winkycofilms-YT
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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What was the indecisive fly overheard saying?

I’m not sure about these debates, I’m really on the Pence

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotMetheThree
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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Why did the scarecrow never win any debates?

He always used a straw man argument

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wofguy3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
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I’m debating whether to write β€œYES” on my left hand and β€œNO” on my right hand.

I mean, on the one hand, yes, but on the other hand, no.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrgeekXD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
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What do you call two people arguing in a sauna?

A heated debate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VileTouch
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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Who is good at debating?

Da Fisherman

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mclovins91
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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Why can't the pillsbury doughboy win a debate?

His arguments are half-baked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrhouse1101
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
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So, I was debating this guy about world peace, and he argued that whirled peas sound disgusting!

I think that's called an ad homonym attack.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAnagramancer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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Five friends were sitting around, debating which Pixar movie is the greatest

After a few hours of debate, no one was willing to concede, and it was decided that a vote must be held. Unfortunately, with so few friends present, it was clear that they would need to bring the vote to the greater public. The group decided that each friend would make a plea to the subreddit of their choice, and whoever received the most karma for it would win.

Adam, already undecided himself, decided to go to /r/AskReddit. He laid out the agreement, and asked that everyone vote one their favorite movie, and the one with the most votes he would use for the his friends. Unfortunately, as the votes were split in that sub, his highest post amounted to a mere 38 points.

Paul, a big proponent for the Toy Story franchise, posted to /r/nostalgia in the hopes that everyone who grew up with Toy Story would agree. Unfortunately, as there had been two sequels (with a third on the way) it wasn't exactly considered "nostalgia" and he got downvoted into oblivion.

Bill, who loved Monsters Inc., made his case using some trickery. Going to /r/news, he found a seemingly unrelated post, and made a top-level comment describing, in great detail, why Monsters Inc. was the greatest film of all time. The fact that the post was so out of context made everyone flock to it, and drew enough attention to new him over a thousand fake internet points.

Mike, who loved the Incredibles movies, decided to stay in his wheelhouse. Over the course of several hours, he created each of the family members from the Incredibles in Soulcaliber VI. Finally, he photoshopped the family together, and posted it to /r/gaming. Under normal circumstances this would have skyrocketed to the top, but the format was stale, and thus only received 20k karma. Still, Mike was confident in his victory.

While the other four friends came up with plans on how to maximize their karma gains, Chris sat silently. For hours he sat, making no posts, coming up with no original content. Finally, an hour before the deadline, he broke into his neighbor's house, stealing his copy of the Pixar movie "Up". He took a picture of his theft and posted it directly to /r/dadjokes with the title "STOLEN".

When the group got together the next day to see who got the most votes, everyone was in awe. Chris's post had over 40,000 points. "How did you know that would win?" "Easy," Chris replied. "Everyone knows stolen content on /r/dadjokes gets all the Up votes."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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When more than 1 person are debating

Is it called mass debating?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarbogman
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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What did the lawyer use when he went fishing?

Debate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ms__Brightside
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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I find the moving steps debate escalating.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dave11899
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
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Did you hear the new debate Congress is having on planes?

It’s ok if you haven’t, the decision is still up in the air.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/XenoOnTrial
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
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Proud dad moment

Today I held up three colored balls in my hand. One red, one green, and one blue. My 1yr old son (after much debate) chose the red one. I’ve never been so proud. He has earned the right to play with my old game boy now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Engineer_7
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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My girlfriend's last name is Pan. We were making hot dogs. She was debating how I should cook them, so I said "I like to put my wiener in a pan".

It worked well. The hot dogs were delicious.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/myheadfire
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2016
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I was at a debate for global warming the other day,

Boy did things heat up in there.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
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A coworker and I were debating on the best way to dig a hole. He said we should use a drill. . .

but I said that would be boring.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/caferreri11
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
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I hate debating people in space.

It feels like my arguments don’t carry weight.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dabarbarian125
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2018
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I debated with a flat earther once. He got so mad and steamed of saying he would walk of the edge of the earth.

He'll come around eventually.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-_Vapor_-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
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I was going to join the debating team but...

One of my friends talked me out of it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zomo147
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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