Need some debating puns please

Have to write some shit for the school magazine about debating. Just anything even vaguely related to it, the worse the better. Cheers.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Varelse21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2013
🚨︎ report
I once debated a flat earther. He got so mad he stormed off saying he would walk to the edge of the earth to prove me wrong.

He’ll come around eventually.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LinkIsThicc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I was going to join the debating team

but somebody talked me out of it.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theskyguyuk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Friend of mine asked why I took a side job at the bakery

I told him I don’t knead the dough, but I do get a rise out of it

πŸ‘︎ 671
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/troutslayer12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Settle a pun debate

I asked two friends for the best pun Bond would utter if he'd just shoved a bad guy into a huge industrial deep-fat fryer. Their responses were:

Friend #1: "Play with fryer, get burnt.
(Isn't there an old saying of don't play with fire unless you want to get burnt?)"

Friend #2: "Why is my instinct to say cool off there?
Let's assume it's christmas. 'Thats a real Crisped Kringle' is what I'd say
Or do I know the guy's dad? Let's say I do. 'Youre a chip of the old block'"

I know, I need new friends. Do me a favour redditors and please tell me whose pun is least awful? And if you have any better ones, I'm all ears! (Mine was "Thank God it's fry day", I'm sure you can all do better).

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/creaky_thumbs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
When debating letters, you always want "i" and "j" on your team.

They always have a point.

πŸ‘︎ 274
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Xero19
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I always win arguments with my wife

She always falls for debate

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/orten_boi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Debate is over, Santa is real...

I felt his presents

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/linkhandford
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Philosopun

Descartes and Shakespeare were having a debate on how best to write. Descartes argued up and down that prose was the only way to really get your ideas across and that artistic license just muddied everything up. Shakespeare argued poetry and turns of phrase made the material more relatable and thus easier to get across. Descartes countered, "But how do you know what the best form is?" Shakespeare thought about it and replied, "I think, therefore iamb."

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/corneashell
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2021
🚨︎ report
There was a debate suggesting the environment isn’t that important after all.

It was pretty anti-climatic

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Karrathan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Joe Rogan hosting a presidential debate
πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WyattsQuietRiot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
The iPhone vs Android debate has to stop!

It's too devicive.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KlydesHail
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do we use debate?

We use debate to catch de-fish

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bart_904
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
If you mask debate too often, you might go blind.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hypocreton
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Y’all think last night’s debate was bad...

To this day the Lincoln-Douglas debate of β€˜58 is literally unwatchable.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DoYouWantAunts
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Didn't learn much with the last debate, but

We did find out that Pence is actually pretty fly, for a white guy!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pipessqueak
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
A pole to help with your next debate
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/k8lin70
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Just PUTIN this here for everyone to see.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JaceAltair
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm a homeless debater.

I beg to differ

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thepootastrophy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m debating whether I should cross the river on foot or use my rowboat...

It’s row v. wade.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LavenderBlue_
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
After debating with a needle

I saw his point

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A group of friends are heading through Louisville and a debate ensues as to how to pronounce the name of the city.

One says it's Lewis-Ville. The next one says the locals say Lew-ville and the last one says they say Lewie-ville. After arguing for a few minutes they see a place to get some lunch. They all agree it would be great to hear how the locals pronounce the name of their city. They all go up to the counter and one says, could you tell me where we are and please say it slowly. BURR-GURR-KIIING!!!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/timthedriller
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I was at dinner and me and my brother were having a debate and he said β€œYou know what would suck”

And my dad yelled β€œA straw!!”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Winkycofilms-YT
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m debating whether to write β€œYES” on my left hand and β€œNO” on my right hand.

I mean, on the one hand, yes, but on the other hand, no.

πŸ‘︎ 124
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrgeekXD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I get very heated when debating global warming with deniers.

Some might say I need to cool it down.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChummusJunky
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the scarecrow never win any debates?

He always used a straw man argument

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wofguy3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Five friends were sitting around, debating which Pixar movie is the greatest

After a few hours of debate, no one was willing to concede, and it was decided that a vote must be held. Unfortunately, with so few friends present, it was clear that they would need to bring the vote to the greater public. The group decided that each friend would make a plea to the subreddit of their choice, and whoever received the most karma for it would win.

Adam, already undecided himself, decided to go to /r/AskReddit. He laid out the agreement, and asked that everyone vote one their favorite movie, and the one with the most votes he would use for the his friends. Unfortunately, as the votes were split in that sub, his highest post amounted to a mere 38 points.

Paul, a big proponent for the Toy Story franchise, posted to /r/nostalgia in the hopes that everyone who grew up with Toy Story would agree. Unfortunately, as there had been two sequels (with a third on the way) it wasn't exactly considered "nostalgia" and he got downvoted into oblivion.

Bill, who loved Monsters Inc., made his case using some trickery. Going to /r/news, he found a seemingly unrelated post, and made a top-level comment describing, in great detail, why Monsters Inc. was the greatest film of all time. The fact that the post was so out of context made everyone flock to it, and drew enough attention to new him over a thousand fake internet points.

Mike, who loved the Incredibles movies, decided to stay in his wheelhouse. Over the course of several hours, he created each of the family members from the Incredibles in Soulcaliber VI. Finally, he photoshopped the family together, and posted it to /r/gaming. Under normal circumstances this would have skyrocketed to the top, but the format was stale, and thus only received 20k karma. Still, Mike was confident in his victory.

While the other four friends came up with plans on how to maximize their karma gains, Chris sat silently. For hours he sat, making no posts, coming up with no original content. Finally, an hour before the deadline, he broke into his neighbor's house, stealing his copy of the Pixar movie "Up". He took a picture of his theft and posted it directly to /r/dadjokes with the title "STOLEN".

When the group got together the next day to see who got the most votes, everyone was in awe. Chris's post had over 40,000 points. "How did you know that would win?" "Easy," Chris replied. "Everyone knows stolen content on /r/dadjokes gets all the Up votes."

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Who is good at debating?

Da Fisherman

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mclovins91
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
When more than 1 person are debating

Is it called mass debating?

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarbogman
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
So, I was debating this guy about world peace, and he argued that whirled peas sound disgusting!

I think that's called an ad homonym attack.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAnagramancer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend's last name is Pan. We were making hot dogs. She was debating how I should cook them, so I said "I like to put my wiener in a pan".

It worked well. The hot dogs were delicious.

πŸ‘︎ 178
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/myheadfire
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2016
🚨︎ report
What has questionable principles and flies?

Mike pence during tonight’s debate.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anddditburns
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the new debate Congress is having on planes?

It’s ok if you haven’t, the decision is still up in the air.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/XenoOnTrial
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I find the moving steps debate escalating.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dave11899
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call two people arguing in a sauna?

A heated debate

πŸ‘︎ 139
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VileTouch
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I hate debating people in space.

It feels like my arguments don’t carry weight.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dabarbarian125
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2018
🚨︎ report
I was at a debate for global warming the other day,

Boy did things heat up in there.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
🚨︎ report
A coworker and I were debating on the best way to dig a hole. He said we should use a drill. . .

but I said that would be boring.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/caferreri11
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
🚨︎ report
I was going to join the debating team at University...

But I was talked out of it.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/adfunk101
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
A flat earther was debating me and got so mad he said "I will walk off the edge of the earth to prove you wrong!!"

He'll come around eventually

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/clouc1223
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he’d walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.

He’ll come around, eventually.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MohanBhargava
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I once debated a flat earthed. He got me so mad I stormed off, saying I'd come back around eventually.

You could say I went over the edge.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dendari
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I debated with a flat earther once. He got so mad and steamed of saying he would walk of the edge of the earth.

He'll come around eventually.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-_Vapor_-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to join the debating team.

But somebody talked me out of it.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/afranc72
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to join the debating team but...

One of my friends talked me out of it

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zomo147
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.