Told the wife the hair product she bought was fake sh*t. She asked how I knew.

I told her it's literally in the name. Shampoo.

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👤︎ u/Secrethat
📅︎ Jul 26 2020
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Why is just farting when you think you have to crap like a hair care product?

They're both sham-poo

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👤︎ u/earthwulf
📅︎ Mar 20 2020
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I saw something in the tub and thought the cat took a crap in there, but he just knocked over some of my wife’s hair care products.

It was a shampoop.

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📅︎ Mar 02 2020
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What does Pavlov call his hair care product?

Classical conditioning

👍︎ 22
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📅︎ Apr 28 2018
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I am the proud owner of a family-run barber shop

For centuries, we've used our shop as a means of teaching the youngest of our lineage the importance of teamwork, the value of a dollar and, most importantly, the self-satisfaction felt in a job well-done.

In the past few weeks, it's been repeatedly brought to my attention that our youngest child, Sheeran, has been demonstrating particularly helpful and productive tendencies so, today, I felt it was finally time to experience the honor of rewarding his efforts, offering him the opportunity to join our workforce; to which he was nothing short of ecstatic!

I'll be honest, I initially withheld concerns that his excitement would subside once I explained the sorts of menial work I'd have to start him off on but, to my relief, he took no issue in hearing that his duties would mostly revolve around wiping our patrons' hair off of the chairs, and sweeping it up from the floor.

Sharing a moment of beautiful silence, exchanging our most heartfelt of smiles and basking in this pivotal moment of his development, I placed my hand on his shoulder and said, "Son...

You are really going to have your work cut out for you."

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📅︎ Apr 01 2019
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