But today I found out jihad
At a point he turned to me and said "we're near the dead center of this town."
"What makes you think that?"
He points past me and I turn to see a sign for the city cemetery.
Flying Saucer
Eu-reek-a
I told him, "the baby...is resisting a-rest."
It was a stroke of good luck
Because every time your dentist gave them to you she dyed a little inside!
When I asked her about it she said, "Yeah, I'm a tea-se."
"And he won?" I asked.
"Well, no..." he mumbled. "The coin was still in the air when Neil jumped down the ladder, the big jerk!"
(Technically I haven't heard any joke before, but...)
I was telling my dad about tactile sign, which is what deafblind people use to communicate. It is like signing condensed ASL with someone's hands on yours, and it is what I plan on specializing in when I am a Certified Deaf Interpreter. He brought up Helen Keller and the conversation went as follows.
Dad: "But how many people can really do that? How many people could really communicate with Helen Keller?"
Me: "Well-"
Dad: "PROBABLY JUST A HANDFUL!"
I'm borderline convinced he deafened me as an infant in hopes that someday the set up for this joke would present itself.
Then it dawned on me.
I’m sitting in the breakroom, when my boss walks in. He sees one of my fellow employees with two big bottles of ice tea. Boss looks at him and says “be careful drinking all that tea if you are going camping....you might drown in your teepee”
I bout died.
After the guy walked away, my cousin told me, "I think he grew a foot since the last time I saw him."
I replied, "I didn't realize he was missing one."
...but I could tell he was full of shit
But he didn't believe me; in fact he said I was full of shit.
So I took off my shirt.
[i don’t know if this is actually not not funny but it happened to me today and I don’t think she got it.]
I said, "I hope they don't Syr-accuse you of being lazy!"
...I asked if he was too busy clowning around.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching an American street performer do some juggling. The juggler notices the four gentleman have a very poor view, so he stands up on a wooden crate and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"
"Yes"
"Oui"
"Sí"
"Ja"
She's Leica virgin.
He would cut out a circle from paper, hand it to me and say "Here's a round toit!"
Dad: Nah, I'm still with the same old lady.
"Then, once we touched down, Neil suggested we toss for it."
"And he won?" I said.
"Well, no." he mumbled. "The coin was still in the air when Neil jumped down the ladder, the jerk."
