Dad: you should probably drive, running that far seems like a lot of unnecessary work.
Two crows sitting on a telephone wire outside our window, and a third crow swoops down... "Oh my God it's an attempted murder!"
Nice one, future dad...
but no-one here liked it.
He said "I don't wanna spoiler"
They get very angry
You’re gunna be toast!
Oh no you dropped your phone in the fish bowl now it’s gunna be all wet
About ten minutes ago at dinner war broke out. My little brother (4 years old) and my little sister (8) were fighting so my mom told them to stop which made my brother cry for some reason. My dad said "are you crying?" And he said yes. My dad goes "hi crying I'm dad!!" Which made him cry more. He kept doing it to us and I look at him seriously and say "are you gunna stop?" And he sighs and says fine. I go "hi gunna stop I'm Gage!!" And he bursts out laughing. My mom made us apologize to my little brother because we made him cry more with our jokes and then had him apologize to my sister. I say to my brother "are you sorry?" And he said yes... Ya you know what happened next. I went back to my room after dinner and I just heard my dad say to my mom "hi gunna kill myself I'm dad!!"
Your pupils. They dilate
So my mom asked my dad about a family friend who is having a baby, she asked what his name was gunna be and after some mild mom research she figures out his name is Finley. Without hesitation my dad says “well, at least he’s going to be a hell of a swimmer” and I’ll be damned if I didn’t look at him and giggle a tad.
Apparently he has three-pointers.
Dad: well I’m going to jail Me: ??? Dad: I’m gunna ........ face time
Aunt: Don't do drugs, the dealers put stuff in them. They'll lace anything. Uncle: Well, I guess I'm gunna need new shoes.
Today I'm gunna watch the highlights
I told my dad I couldn't do my homework since my parents didn't pay the gravity bill. He said I don't think that one is gunna fly.
I stopped by my parents house for dinner - Mom: I picked up Halibut at Costco Dad: I'm gunna marinate it and grill just for the Halibut!
Dad: do you guys want to go to sushi tomorrow?
Step mom: Yes!
Dad: Okay sounds good, sushi on me.
Me: it's gunna be pretty difficult to eat sushi off you with chopsticks
Everyone: sigh
"You just press this button ... IT'S GUNNA BLOW!!"
Followed by embarrassed teen noises.
