Heard this on the Grapevine
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
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How do you measure the length of a grapevine?

In vine yards.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brainsonastick
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2018
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This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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(X-post) There are some pretty big rumors about the wine industry.

I heard about it through the grapevine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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Our local winery recently starting using a flock of sheep to keep the grass from getting too long....

At least that's what I herd through the grapevine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buggaboobooy
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
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My step-dad ordered a case of wine with a release date.

Yes, apparently this is a thing. It's called Beaujolais Nouveau.

So they'll deliver it in time for release, he had to sign an document to swear that he wouldn't open it before the official date, and insists he won't open it early "in case they find out".

"They'll never know though," I said, "unless they hear it through the grapevine."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_bez
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2016
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Hissed at for this one

Last night I arrived home a bit later than usual. Me and the lads wanted to go home after work for some drinks, but I told the Mrs. I had to stay late to do some work.

She heard through the grapevine that I was, in fact, out at the pub and not working late.

I get home and she calls me a snake for sneaking around and not telling her, to which I drunkenly reply...

"Well, you don't have to be so anacondascending about it"

...Almost slept on the couch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/4licks
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2016
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