Grape Vine Puns

Everything happens for a raisin.

The dad says, “I bet if you pop one of those balloons she’ll let out a little wine.”

His wife just rolled her eyes and went back to watching her daughter, while the dad laughed to himself.

Breathe, damn it! Breathe!

I was drinking wine with my wife, and she asked me if it was good, to which I responded:

"It's grape!" groans "Why are you wine-ing ?" groans intensify "Want me to put a cork in it?" facepalm desk "Vine, I'll stop."

She then pun-ished me with no more wine.

So as a young child, i had heard through the grape vine that a boy in my class liked me.

Me to my dad: "I like him but he's too short."

My Dad: "Well, better short than not a tall. (Read to sound like "At all") oh dad, you and your puns.

At the Angels game with my dad and step mom when dad brings out a bag full of grape flavored red vine licorice.
Step mom asks why he bought that flavor. Dad: "I heard it through the grape vine that they're great!"
No one but him was happy with that joke.