Gorges Puns

Ended up having a crippling vowel movement.

My wife accused me of achieving nothing so I told her, 'Well I won the Leslie Nielson award at school.'

'What's that?', she said.

'It's a big building with kids in it.'

Mrs Hippy

Cuz you look Two Gorges Dam.

... because they are gorges.

(Gorgeous, get it?)

I'll see myself out.

In my defense, my daughter told me that one.

Our teenage son was explaining about the Luna moth, apparently in the moth stage of its life cycle it doesn't have a mouth. It gorges during the caterpillar stage, and spends its moth life on reproduction, eventually starving to death.

My wife, without blinking an eye says, "Hungry little fuckers".

I bowed to her superiority.

but two canyons are gorges.

It’s gorge-ous!!!

They were discussing the Three Gorges Dam on the Yangtze River, the worlds largest hydroelectric dam.

My wife walks in and asks, “Is that the Hoover Dam?”

Me: “No, it’s the Three Gorges Dam in China.”

Her: “Oh, I guess all dams just look alike.”

Me: “Honey, don’t be a dam racist!”

I hear it's absolutely gorges!

When they’re gorges.

The New River Gorge.

In the version they're doing, the bass section plays a bit at the start, then just sits there til the final part of the last movement. So, they decide to leave the concert and go out for drinks.

While at the bar down the street, they meet a European nobleman, and they become good friends. Unfortunately, the guy had been gorging himself on crappy bar food, and he quickly falls into a food coma.

One of the basses drunkenly checks his watch and says, "crap! We're not going to get back on stage in time!" As they're sprinting back, one of them says, "actually, I thought this would happen, so I tied some of the pages of the conductor's score together - that way, he'll have to slow the tempo way down with his right hand while undoes the knots with his left!"

And so they get back just in time to finish the Symphony, and the audience is none the wiser. The conductor, however, was furious.

After all, they'd left him at the bottom of the 9th, with the score tied, while the basses were loaded, and the Count was full.

Gorge washing ton

Just gorges.

Just gorges.