What is an example of someone getting to eat up their words?

King Midas saying that this sandwich is gold.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Proxysweden
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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Fascinate

A class of third graders are sitting down at their desks one morning when their teacher walks in.

โ€œGood morning class, today weโ€™ll be working on our English. Can someone use the word Fascinate in a sentence for me?โ€

Little girl in the front row raises her hand high, squirming in her seat. โ€œThe stars last night were fascinating.โ€

Teacher looks at her and says,โ€Close, I want you to use the word Fascinate.โ€

A boy near the middle of the room stands up and says,โ€Iโ€™m fascinated by the ocean and itโ€™s creatures.โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s still not the answer Iโ€™m looking for.โ€ The teacher says. โ€œCan anyone give me an example of Fascinate in a sentence.โ€

A quiet boy in the back stands up, clears his throat and says,โ€My grandmother came over last night wearing her new dress. It has ten buttons in the the front but her boobies are so big she can only fasten eight of them.โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LiCill666
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 14 2020
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Help me come up with a pun for work!!!

So Iโ€™m going to be in charge of a team for work and I need a punny team name involving one of the following words/phrases.

I want my team to be dinosaur/Jurassic Park themed and my company is called Caption Call.

I need to use something from the following list:

Caption Captioner Callers CA CAs Dictate

For example thereโ€™s another team called โ€œCaption Americaโ€

The best Iโ€™ve come up with is โ€œveloci-captionersโ€ but itโ€™s a reach...

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DudleyTheDino
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
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[Request] Cone-Based Band Names

I'm looking for band names that involve the word cone (specifically traffic cones). A few examples I have come up with are "The Rolling Cones," "Earth Wind and Cone," and "The Conas Brothers." I'm sure there are lots of good ones that I'm not thinking of.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Devosity28
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 11 2018
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I won a unique item at the Celebrity Origami charity auction.

The auction's goal was to raise money for Tourette syndrome research by selling origami figures made by famous celebrities. To highlight the purpose of the auction, the organization in charge asked all participating celebs to write a replacement of a naughty four-letter word most closely associated with the disorder.

For example, George Clooney's origami penguin said Fudge instead of the F-word.

Margot Robbie's paper flower said Beach instead of the B-word.

I bid on the origami made by Dwayne Johnson.

The Rock's paper scissors said Shoot.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Roivas14
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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There was just a Dad Joke on Jeopardy!

The category was 3-4, the number of letters in each of the two words in the answer.

The example was: What did the grape do when it was stepped on? It let out a little wine.

Is Alex telling me that dadjokes is actually two words?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/xwhy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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[REQUEST] Username Pun

Hi guys, I need to change my username online (mostly used in games) as it's not really something unique ( came from a book I read when I was younger ).

I'm trying to find something quite funny, with plays on words for example. But english isn't my native language and I find it quite hard ! So I'm asking you guys to help me :) You're the best for that imho !

If you could help me find something mixing music (percussions/drums), sciences (my field of study, physics to be more precise), beer and animals maybe (?) (because I like that !)

I think this is possible to find something using some science-specific noun and something else. But I can't seem to find one that suits me :(

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PRD-dat
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 10 2016
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Studying for my MCAT when I came across this passage in Verbal.

I have written this book to sweep away all misunderstandings about the crafty art of punnery and to convince you that the pun is well worth celebrating.... After all, the pun is mightier than the sword, and these days you are much more likely to run into a pun than into a sword. [A pun is a witticism involving the playful use of a word in different senses, or of words which differ in meaning but sound alike.]

Scoffing at puns seems to be a conditioned reflex, and through the centuries a steady barrage of libel and slander has been aimed at the practice of punning. Nearly three hundred years ago John Dennis sneered, โ€œA pun is the lowest form of wit,โ€ a charge that has been butted and rebutted by a mighty line of pundits and punheads.

Henry Erskine, for example, has protested that if a pun is the lowest form of wit, โ€œIt is, therefore, the foundation of all wit.โ€ Oscar Levant has added a tag line: โ€œA pun is the lowest form of humorโ€”when you donโ€™t think of it first.โ€ John Crosbie and Bob Davies have responded to Dennis with hot, cross puns: โ€œ...If someone complains that punning is the lowest form of humor you can tell them that poetry is verse.โ€

Samuel Johnson, the eighteenth century self-appointed custodian of the English language, once thundered, โ€œTo trifle with the vocabulary which is the vehicle of social intercourse is to tamper with the currency of human intelligence. He who would violate the sanctities of his mother tongue would invade the recesses of the national till without remorse... โ€

Joseph Addison pronounced that the seeds of punning are in the minds of all men, and thoโ€™ they may be subdued by reason, reflection, and good sense, they will be very apt to shoot up in the greatest genius, that which is not broken and cultivated by the rules of art.

Far from being invertebrate, the inveterate punster is a brave entertainer. He or she loves to create a three-ring circus of words: words clowning, words teetering on tightropes, words swinging from tent tops, words thrusting their head into the mouths of lions. Punnery can be highly entertaining, but it is always a risky business. The humor can fall on its face, it can lose its balance and plunge into the sawdust, or it can be decapitated by the snapping shut of jaws. While circus performers often receive laughter or applause for their efforts, punsters often draw an obligatory groan for theirs. But the fact that most people groan at, rather than laugh at, puns doesnโ€™t mean that the punnery isnโ€™t fu

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/zil2mz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 11 2014
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