Dear Optimist, Pessimist and Realist. While you were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.

The Opportunist.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 35
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 14 2020
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Why did the pony ask for a glass of water?

Because he felt like he was a little horse.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/schoonerw
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 23 2020
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My server slammed a glass of water down, tossed a spoon with a knife on the table and stomped off back to the kitchen. I pondered about their attitude for a moment and then it hit me...

They just didn't give a fork...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 05 2020
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I hate having to keep going to the kitchen to fill my glass of water. /r/Jokes/comments/hzvbvc/…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/myCakeDayIsOn420420
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 29 2020
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A man ordered a glass of water at a fancy restaurant. It cost him 10 dollars. When the waiter delivered it, he asked the waiter why it was so expensive.

The waiter responds β€œIt’s tap quality”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Chubbypants3
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 16 2020
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At a job interview I filled my glass of water until it overflowed a little.

β€œNervous?” asked the interviewer.

β€œNo. I always give 110%”.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 68
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sunyyan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 10 2020
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Trump did an amazing job, drinking a glass of water.

Gotta hand it to him.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/assafstone
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 23 2020
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"Can I have a glass of water?" asked the young student.

The teacher placed her hands on her hips, glaring at him, and said "May I!".

The kid smiles. "I was gonna get it myself, but sure, that'd be great!".

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Findrel_Underbakk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 06 2020
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Don’t stare at a glass of water.

Take a pitcher it’ll last longer.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 75
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Radish00
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 19 2019
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When the waiter asked me what I wanted to drink, I told him a glass of water please.

Straight away he replies "still water sir?"

Yeah, like I'm suddenly going to change my mind.

Honestly, customer service these days.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RHOrpie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 10 2019
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I asked my dad to bring me a glass of water, so he pointed at my aquarium and said "you have plenty" and walked out, and now everytime I ask for water he does this
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/d1nara
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 08 2019
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I tried to pour myself a glass from a picture of water

Nothing came out of the photo though

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 03 2019
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What did the frat bro say when he got a glass of room temperature water?

Noice!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vaxis2113
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 03 2018
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a glass of water decided to have a conversation with a pond one day

the glass asked "water you doing"? the pond responded "pondering life".

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SkyTheShyGuy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 07 2018
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Dad asked me to get him a glass of water

Me: yeah sure thing Dad: hmmm it tastes really odd Me: really, whats wrong with it? Dad: ...its too watered down (then proceeded to laugh hysterically)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/IcelandicDave
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 15 2017
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What did one three-quarter-full glass of vodka say to the other, full glass of water?

I'm a bit drunk.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VeryAwkwardCake
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 28 2016
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Did you know you can tell the gender of an ant by dropping it in a glass of water?

If it sinks: girl

If it floats: boyant

πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ThirdD3gree
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 05 2016
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Dad walks into bedroom with a glass of ice water for me...

Proceeds to shake glass so the ice makes a sound like a maraca. "That's cool! Get it? Cool?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/audacias
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 23 2013
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Q: Why Did The Pony Ask For A Glass Of Water?

A: Because He Was A Little Horse!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/_1XCharlieX1_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2020
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Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?

Because he was a little horse!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 08 2019
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Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?

Because he was a little horse!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 08 2019
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Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 14 2019
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Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?

Because he was a little horse!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 07 2017
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Do you know how you can tell the gender of an ant by dropping it in a glass of water?

If it sinks: girl ant. If it floats: boyant.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/helloinvader
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 09 2016
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