Do your worst!
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies π
Theyβre on standbi
It really does, I swear!
https://preview.redd.it/yxh1vbbh5mg71.jpg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=976010cace41ebbc29d0c19e7fb966ab896ac5e2
Set "Time of Day" to Afternoon - I missed this in publishing
Backstory
Dr Fritzel Blitzkrieg grew up a poor Austrian boy in the 1930βs listening on his wireless to the feats of golfing legends like Henry Picard, Bobby Jones, Byron Nelson, Sam Snead, Ben Hogan and Gene Sarazen. He dreamed of being a professional golfer but alas, poor Fritzel only had a couple of hickory shafted mashies and niblicks left to him by his father who died during the November Revolution.
Fritzel was a gifted student, studying at Ludwig Maximilian University of Munich he graduated top of his class and immediately defected to America after the resistance smuggled him out of Germany at the start of WW2, working with Oppenheimer on a secret project.
Returning to his homeland after a distinguished career as a Nuclear Scientist he decided to fulfil his childhood dream of turning his family mountain property into a golf resort. The only problem was that the property was literally on the side of a mountain overlooking Lake Chapeau.
Having an abundance of civil engineering friends and a limitless budget resulted in a very unique experience. Because the Lake is in an enclosed valley, a tunnel was drilled through the mountain and an access driveway paved all the way to the family castle which is now the clubhouse.
https://preview.redd.it/9bwvs5ok5mg71.jpg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=95e5b2592c172d38a17a602dea9f8b10999c0258
https://preview.redd.it/wzrhjiwm5mg71.jpg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3f095db7e5b5a456b3177780623e13edf5080ae1
Being a private golf course there are only a select number of tee times and this is where it gets interesting.
The days starts near the lake and from the first tee the majority of holes work their way uphill finishing at the top of the mountain some 580 feet above the lake. A the end of the day you are welcomed into the Lodge for dinner and a night to relax before turning around and playing the downhill course.
https://preview.redd.it/779ou5qo5mg71.jpg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b86612bd95fcadb1129727804c7a704eb1a8722
Both courses share greens and pin positions so this is why itβs a 36 hole course and plays up one day and down the next. Also why you will never hit a group coming the other way.
https://preview.redd.it/kux9wnir5mg71.jpg?width=1920&
... keep reading on reddit β‘
Pilot on me!!
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
I won't be doing that today!
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
Itβs pronounced βNoel.β
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Bob
Just to clarify, 12345678
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! π Thank you for the awards.
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
