My daughter (6) and I were watching a show where the phrase β€œgelatinous mass” came up..

..so I blurted out, β€œThat’s what jellyfish call church!” rimshot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buh-sploder
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
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WARNING: There is an email going around offering processed pork, Gelatin and salt in a can. If you get this email DO NOT OPEN

It’s spam

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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Why did the gelatin hate the pudding?

Because they were jell-os

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainAmerica80
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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Did you hear about the artist that turned into a gelatin dessert?

MichelanJell-O

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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Finely chopped meat mixed with gelatine, blood, grits, or bread, then stuffed into animal intestines or skin, sounds pretty bad wherever you are.

But in Germany, it's the wurst.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeverBob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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I tried to go into a store with a gelatin revolver

But I was arrested for having a congealed weapon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mattro30
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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Gelatin it to win it!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/russdugan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2017
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What do you call a gun made of gelatin that is owned illegally?

a congealed weapon

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
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What is a Killer Queen’s favourite jelly?

Gunpowder gelatine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOutcast06
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
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What language does Jello speak?

Gelatin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dovahquinoa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2017
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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There's an email going around offering free processed pork gelatin and salt in a can, if you get this email, do not open it!

It's spam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/green_tito
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2018
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There is an email going around offering processed pork, gelatin, and salt in a can.

If you get this email, DO NOT open it.

It is SPAM.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IanGecko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2016
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What do you call a jelotine gun?

A congealed weapon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wrldoasis
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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There's an email going around..

... offering processed pork, gelatine and salt in a can. If you get this email, don't open it. It's spam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BenderDeLorean
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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