Is this sub still active?

Haven't seen anyone post all year!

(Happy New Year from Australia everyone!)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shauntp
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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I am from the future
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/squidwardtron
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar

And things got a little tense.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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You can use ketchup to tell the future

In Heinzsight you probably can't

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tragicsnow11740
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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Lets go back to the future!
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ki00b
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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A Solid Future

I told my son he should be a cement contractor. I told him that field has a solid future.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Divinepyramid
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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The Pasta, Present and Future [OC]
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChumpsLand
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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I really don't see much future for Advent Calendars

It feels like their days are numbered.

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_fury_2000
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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The most important question before choosing your future wife ...

Which is witch ?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/afarro
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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Finally got around to watching the whole β€œBack to the Future” trilogy!

It’s about time.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bskizzy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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The light of my life, a future dad:
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rooftopfilth
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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Where do fat people go when they want to see into the future?

A Four chin teller

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trendfoll
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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I thought I saw Michael J Fox at my local garden centre.

I'm not sure if it was him, though, as he had his back to the fuchsias

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mykeuk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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I didn't put my watch back this weekend, so I'm living in the future.

If there's anything you want to know, about what's going to happen, just ask me.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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Doctor I think I’ve gained the ability to see into the future

It all started next Tuesday

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucarboi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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If pronouncing all my "V"s like "B"s, makes me sound Russian...

Then Soviet

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?

HDMI

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yovinio
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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In far future, in a robot-only disco, one of the dancers suddenly shuts down.

The doctor arrives and after a quick inspection he calms the crowd:

β€œDon’t worry, he just got disco-nnected.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/That-Grim-Reaper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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To the people who haven’t gone to the toilet in 2021

Why are you still holding onto last year’s shit?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jtrad_24
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
If you time travel to the future and get decapitated-

You really are a head of your time

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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Why did The Joker have to sleep with his lights on?

Because he was afraid of the Dark Knight.

β€”

My 9yr old son just told me this πŸ€ͺ

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pagameba
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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In the future, historians will call 2020 the Hindsight year because we have clearly seen it all
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JokerJangles123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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When the past, present, and future go camping they always argue.

It's intense tense in tents

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/harshamfk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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I once had a dream about the future

There was milk in the fridge

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gl1tchyVirus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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Your mother couldn’t believe that an actual skunk could predict the future.

But it was a real fortune smeller.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/b33fb
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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I asked my dad if I can be a history major,

He said, β€œDon’t. There’s no future in it.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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So it's 2021 now, then 2022, and then 2023.

I guess the vision for the future is getting worse.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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Good punmanship is an investment in your future
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mortilsola
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
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In the future...

In 1,000 years, snails will evolve into being an advanced civilization. They will develop their own advanced technologies. In an effort to increase their mobility, they will equip their shells to be modular vehicles called Snail Cars, S-Car for short. Since snails do not have upper extremities, controlling the cars will be voice activated. The initiation command would be, "S-Car, GO!" πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dan_the_Man0904
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Training for dad level jokes.

My wife is pregnant with our first child so I'm stepping up my joke game to reach dad level.

Mother's day was not so long ago, and since she isn't a mother yet but only a future mother, I didn't get her flowers I only got her seeds, which are future flowers.

At least I found it hilarious and so did she. Hope you guys enjoy this!

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jackybeau
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My future boss asked if i could perform under pressure.

I said "No, but I can do a great Bohemian Rhapsody"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheezzlez
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I was watching back to the future and I am amazed at how well they hold up.

They truly were ahead of their time

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JukeboxHero5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I stayed up all night to watch the sunrise.

Then it dawned on me

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ReelBigKeith
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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I leave notes for people

It's how I tell the future

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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In the future it will be possible to incubate humans in artificial uteri. If you want yours in the one by the window, it will be more expensive.

After all, it always costs more for a womb with a view.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ivegot_back
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Future dad joke

Kiddo: Geez whiz dad, we didn't get any snow at all this year!

Papa: Yeah, it never used to be like this back in the colden days...

Everyone: sigh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohshitsherlock
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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My dad invented a belt made of herbs that takes you 5 minutes into the future.

It took 6 minutes to put on. It was a waist of thyme

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MexElf
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Highlighter pens are the future.

Mark my words.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/engineerwho_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
The past, present, and future walked into a bar...

...it was tense.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_oddballwoofwoof_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
The future, the present and the past walked into a bar,

Things got a little tense.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Russell_Pinto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A Solid Future

I told my son he should be a cement contractor. I told him that field has a solid future.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Divinepyramid
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
The past, present and future walk into a room.

It was tense

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
The future, the present and the past walked into a bar

Things got a little tense

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
If you time travel to the future and get decapitated-

You really are a head of your times

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
The past,The present and The future entered a bar

It was tense

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Onowl
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Past, present and future walked into a bar.

It was tense.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CanAhJustSay
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
The past, present and future walk into a bar

It was tense.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pomfritten__
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report

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