I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Link to Spreadsheet: Most Common First + Last Names for Players of 579 Clubs

Introduction

Back in September 2019, I had a random idea about figuring out the most common player names for a given club. During the lockdown, I had some time to make that idea a reality. I used Wikipedia's API (through the WikipediR R package) to extract the names of every player with a Wikipedia page that belonged to the category "X football players" or "X footballers" for a given club X. I did this extraction back in September 2019, so all this data is only accurate as of September 2019 and does not account for any transfers since then. I compiled the list of players for every club, and then used the humaniformat R package to "intelligently" split every player name into first and last names. Finally, I calculated the modes among the lists of first and last names of the players for each club. I have posted the code in a Github repository in case anyone is interested.

The following tables encompass as many teams from as many countries/leagues as I could fit with a reasonable length in this post. The full list is available in the Google Sheets spreadsheet listed at the top of this post. I encourage anyone whose club is not listed in this post to peruse through that spreadsheet, as you will hopefully find it there. The entire list encompasses each of the countries below, as well as some others (including China, Japan, and some Scandinavian countries), for a total of 579 clubs across the top or top two divisions of 26 countries (England + Wales includes League One and League Two teams as well). Also, the full list for some countries is posted on subreddits pertaining to their leagues, and the separate discussions on those subreddits have been linked.

I apologize if the names of any club are listed incorrectly - I had to do some processing to condense their names from the "official" name (which the Wikipedia pages are often named for) to their common names. Enjoy!

Note: "X" represents a case in which there were more than 3 names that were all tied for being the most common for their club.

England + Wales

|Club |First Name |Last Name |Name | |:---------

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

You take away their little brooms

There hasn't been a post all year!

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

Bob

Just to clarify, 12345678

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.