My friends keep telling me I'm frugal

I'm not buying it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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What’s a frugal cannibal’s favorite snack?

A bag of Fritos.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tadsg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
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What do you call a frugal lamb?

A sheepskate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tizreader
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2018
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I hear hound dogs are very frugal...

They track all their scents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/enderfiend
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2018
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What do you call a cheap flugelhorn?

A frugal horn

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodOldDragon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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My dad, Paul, was interviewed for the union magazine where he works. I feel sorry for the guy who interviewed him.

Here's a scanned excerpt, via Imgur.

Transcript (Important part in boldface):

Extremely pragmatic and frugal in nature -- "a lot of stuff I see people buying is completely nonessential" -- Paul has a soft spot for absolutely any joke, and the more esoteric, the better. Instead of his proper name on his office template, "The Buck Stops Here" appears. The other day, he stopped me in the hallway and asked "What will the people carrying the coffin at my funeral be called?"

I wait.

"Paul bearers", he declares, followed by a knee-slapping hearty guffaw.

EDIT: Fixed Imgur link.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2016
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Italian Dad

I visited my girlfriend in Italy, her dad didn't speak much english and I didn't speak much Italian. He's a really big Italian guy, and everytime we ate, my girlfriend would always have a really healthy meal. He would always get up from the table and say "my daughter is TOP model, top model" while spinning around and doing the most girly little dance.

Also everytime money was brought into conversation (he's considerably frugal) he would start kneeling hypothetically and praising the jew god, claiming he was of jewish descent.

Lol.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KarmaBender
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2013
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Why are centipedes so inclined to not spend money?

Because of Centi-Frugal force.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StickyHand
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2013
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My friends keep telling me I’m frugal.

I’m not buying it.

πŸ‘︎ 349
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2018
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