Why do sailors eat shellsfish when rain is forecasted?

Its the clam before the storm

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JormaR69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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Bill, the weatherman: β€œToday’s weather forecast will be two beans in a tomato, meat sauce.”

Anchor: Bill, what on earth are you talking about?

Bill: It’ll be a little chili.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MBisme
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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My boss said that an outdoor concert was fine this fourth of July celebration despite the forecast f rain...

Just so I cover all the bassists.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
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Todays forecast.. imgur.com/GSDwTR1
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dhalsimballskin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2017
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How do sea animals forecast current patterns?

They use algae-rhythms

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chexmp
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
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Hitler: β€œIt’s getting cold. What is ze Wetter forecast?”

β€œHail, Hitler.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toberoni
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2018
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Have you heard of the new hipster weather forecasting device?

It lets you know when temperatures are dropping before anyone thinks it’s cool

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CardiacSchmardiac
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
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Watching the weatherman give the forecast and he says we'll probably see some teens late tonight and I said

They shouldn't be out that late without adult supervision. The sound of eyes rolling is music to my ears.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zulubowie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
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I just won an argument about weather forecasting accuracy.

The fellow's logic was cloudy. He stormed from the room.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
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I had a debate with my dad about weather forecasting accuracy, but it was pretty disappointing

Hopefully next time his arguments are meatier or logically stronger.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arjaybee
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
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I read the weather forecast today and it said it was going to rain

Boy did i have a big storm coming

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evalig
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2018
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Wife: *All* 4 cats are looking out the window!

Me: Are they checking the weather?

Wife: What? Why?

Me: Are they the weather fourcats?

Wife: YOU NEED TO STOP READING /r/dadjokes !!!

(Note: we don't even have kids)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/debren27
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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Romans created weather forecasts

Hail, Ceasar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SquishedGremlin
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2018
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My wife asked me what the weather forecast for Christmas was.

I told her, "It looks like reindeer."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dwoo888
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2017
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The weather forecast in Mexico is

Chili today, hot tamale

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zhaogeorge3
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2018
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My weather guys said the forecasts were going to be late

I said it's cool.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fingerofblame
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2017
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It was forecast to be foggy this morning.

Girlfriend: 'It's not foggy outside at all'

Me: 'We must have mist it'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/b-roc
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2016
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Did you hear about the forecast for the rap concert?

They're expecting a Lil Wayne.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2015
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Hitler asked his chief meteorologist for the weather forecast.

"Hail, Hitler."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-rabid-
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2014
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It's forecast to be the coldest day of the year so far this Thursday.

Well, it is January afterall. (courtesy of my stepdad)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TreeHuggerGuy96
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2014
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Weather forecast provides the perfect dad joke opportunity

I was checking the weather and the forecast for Sunday said "Potential for significant icing"

Dad: "Chocolate or vanilla?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigPrezBama
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2014
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Got my family at dinner.

A little bit of context: we're finishing dinner and talking about the weather. My mom says today's storm wasn't as big as forecasted, and my dad comments that another storm is predicted to come on Sunday.

I say, "Well then shouldn't they call it Rainday?"

Got 2 groans and a half-hearted chuckle. Totally worth it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zhaji
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2015
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I'm glad it only rained water today

The forecast called for scat showers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SailedBasilisk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2017
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The production staff of Car Talk at NPR
  • Accounts Payable Administrator_______________Imelda Czechs

  • Accounts Payable Clerk, Moscow Office__________Dasha Chekhov

  • Air-Quality Monitor _________________________Carmine Dioxide

  • Caffeine Addiction Counselor__________________Bruno Moore

  • Chief Legal Counsel_________________________ Hugh Louis Dewey of Dewey, Cheetham & Howe

  • Cliche Monitor_____________________________Saul Wellingood

  • Clothing Designer__________________________Hugh Jass

  • Credit Counselor___________________________Max Stout

  • Director of Purchasing_______________________Lois Bidder

  • Director of Pavlovian Research________________Isabelle Ringing

  • Divorce Attorney___________________________Carmine Nottyors

  • Dog Trainer_______________________________Don Chase Katz

  • Ebay Specialist____________________________Selma Junkoff

  • Head of Security___________________________Barb Dwyer

  • Global Economics Forecaster_________________Helena Handbasket

  • Marine Biologist___________________________Frieda Wales

  • Father-in-Law Liaison_______________________Royal Payne Diaz

  • Mother-in-Law Liaison______________________Stella Payne Diaz

  • Official Spokesperson_______________________Howie Vasive

  • Restroom Attendants_______________________Trudy Door & Donna Hall

  • Russian Chauffeur__________________________Picov Andropov

  • Scout Leader______________________________Lawson D. Woods

  • Shop Foreman_____________________________Luke Bizzy

  • Staff Intuitionist____________________________Ivan Inkling

  • Used Car Salesman_________________________Alexis Itznot

Full list can be found here: http://www.cartalk.com/content/staff-credits

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IcedPyro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2016
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Out of the blue: A dad joke from my teen-age son

We're in California, and the drought is on our minds as we approach what (in a good year) is the rainy season. As I checked the weather forecast, I gave a little cheer.

"Chance of showers this week!" I told my son.

"Well, for me, it's a 100% chance," he said. "Every morning, about 5:30."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProfComm
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2014
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Dadjoke practice

Backstory: I'm a flight instructor, and I was teaching one of my students about the "Area Forecast". We were going through which areas of the country the forecast covered, and in addition to a bunch of states, there's a few lakes, like Lake Superior, Lake Michigan, Lake Huron, etc.

Her: "Why are these lakes included in the forecast?"

Me: "Because they're pretty great."

Additional backstory: I will be a dad of 2 in less than a month.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alpineracer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2016
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Said at every sushi restaurant ever...

Dad: Do you know what the Japanese weather forecast is?

Chilly today, hot tamago!

Alternatively at Mexican restaurants: Chilly today, hot tamale.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ccab
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2013
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Did you hear the weather forecast in Mexico?

Chili today, hot tamale!

-Dad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sirjubs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2013
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