Forecasted Puns

Its the clam before the storm

Anchor: Bill, what on earth are you talking about?

Bill: It’ll be a little chili.

Just so I cover all the bassists.

They use algae-rhythms

“Hail, Hitler.”

It lets you know when temperatures are dropping before anyone thinks it’s cool

They shouldn't be out that late without adult supervision. The sound of eyes rolling is music to my ears.

The fellow's logic was cloudy. He stormed from the room.

Hopefully next time his arguments are meatier or logically stronger.

Boy did i have a big storm coming

Me: Are they checking the weather?

Wife: What? Why?

Me: Are they the weather fourcats?

Wife: YOU NEED TO STOP READING /r/dadjokes !!!

(Note: we don't even have kids)

Hail, Ceasar

I told her, "It looks like reindeer."

Chili today, hot tamale

I said it's cool.

Girlfriend: 'It's not foggy outside at all'

Me: 'We must have mist it'

They're expecting a Lil Wayne.

"Hail, Hitler."

Well, it is January afterall. (courtesy of my stepdad)

I was checking the weather and the forecast for Sunday said "Potential for significant icing"

Dad: "Chocolate or vanilla?"

A little bit of context: we're finishing dinner and talking about the weather. My mom says today's storm wasn't as big as forecasted, and my dad comments that another storm is predicted to come on Sunday.

I say, "Well then shouldn't they call it Rainday?"

Got 2 groans and a half-hearted chuckle. Totally worth it.

The forecast called for scat showers

• Accounts Payable Administrator_______________Imelda Czechs

• Accounts Payable Clerk, Moscow Office__________Dasha Chekhov

• Air-Quality Monitor _________________________Carmine Dioxide

• Caffeine Addiction Counselor__________________Bruno Moore

• Chief Legal Counsel_________________________ Hugh Louis Dewey of Dewey, Cheetham & Howe

• Cliche Monitor_____________________________Saul Wellingood

• Clothing Designer__________________________Hugh Jass

• Credit Counselor___________________________Max Stout

• Director of Purchasing_______________________Lois Bidder

• Director of Pavlovian Research________________Isabelle Ringing

• Divorce Attorney___________________________Carmine Nottyors

• Dog Trainer_______________________________Don Chase Katz

• Ebay Specialist____________________________Selma Junkoff

• Head of Security___________________________Barb Dwyer

• Global Economics Forecaster_________________Helena Handbasket

• Marine Biologist___________________________Frieda Wales

• Father-in-Law Liaison_______________________Royal Payne Diaz

• Mother-in-Law Liaison______________________Stella Payne Diaz

• Official Spokesperson_______________________Howie Vasive

• Restroom Attendants_______________________Trudy Door & Donna Hall

• Russian Chauffeur__________________________Picov Andropov

• Scout Leader______________________________Lawson D. Woods

• Shop Foreman_____________________________Luke Bizzy

• Staff Intuitionist____________________________Ivan Inkling

• Used Car Salesman_________________________Alexis Itznot

Full list can be found here: http://www.cartalk.com/content/staff-credits

We're in California, and the drought is on our minds as we approach what (in a good year) is the rainy season. As I checked the weather forecast, I gave a little cheer.

"Chance of showers this week!" I told my son.

"Well, for me, it's a 100% chance," he said. "Every morning, about 5:30."

Backstory: I'm a flight instructor, and I was teaching one of my students about the "Area Forecast". We were going through which areas of the country the forecast covered, and in addition to a bunch of states, there's a few lakes, like Lake Superior, Lake Michigan, Lake Huron, etc.

Her: "Why are these lakes included in the forecast?"

Me: "Because they're pretty great."

Additional backstory: I will be a dad of 2 in less than a month.

Dad: Do you know what the Japanese weather forecast is?

Chilly today, hot tamago!

Alternatively at Mexican restaurants: Chilly today, hot tamale.

Chili today, hot tamale!

-Dad