My girlfriend left me because I kept fondling pasta.

I'm feeling cannelloni.

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📅︎ Mar 30 2016
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Would incestuous fondling...

...be considered kindling?

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📅︎ Jun 22 2014
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If you fondle a mouse, what sort of mouse is it?

A feeled mouse.

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👤︎ u/AlRedux
📅︎ Jun 18 2019
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Why do they allow snitches to fondle prostitutes?

Tit for tattle.

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👤︎ u/Nimja_
📅︎ Aug 18 2017
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Out to dinner, mother in law tried to say 'fondled' and 'fumbled' at the same time.

She ended up saying 'fundled'. Wife asked "what is fundled?"

I said, "it's the type of harassment you can't get sued for."

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📅︎ May 05 2017
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Flint Michigan is the lead cause of problems in the US right now
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📅︎ Mar 02 2016
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He's definitely dad material

This might sound a bit weird, since this discussion was in Finnish and I apparently wasn't clear enough. My SO was leaving my place for work and we were saying goodbye, with some standard goodbye-fondling. It was time for him to leave for the bus and this discussion was had.

Me (declaratively): Time to put it in (the) pants. ("Laitahan se housuihin.")

...

Me: YOUR pants! ("SUN housuihin!")

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👤︎ u/Lieto
📅︎ Mar 24 2014
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