Karl Marx is an historically famous figure, but nobody ever mentions his sister...
Onya Marx, who invented the starting pistol.
I've had a hard time figuring out why I don't consider cottage cheese truly "cheese"
But it's just a curd to me
I couldn't figure out how to fasten my seatbelt...
I bought my kids Avengers action figures for Christmas so I don’t have to sit and build.
They were already assembled.
I just figured out I was colourblind
It came out of the yellow!
My kid couldn't figure out how to pronounce abominable so I drew a guide
What did the tree say after it was cut down? I can't figure it out.
My friend got me an action figure of a birdman with an abacus for Christmas
I didn’t really want it but it’s the Thoth that counts
I tried to figure out how far 20,000 leagues under the sea actually is.
I figured out why I am so shy and awkward
A main part of my body is called the nervous system
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer
The rocket scientists finally figured out what when wrong with their missile launch ...
Turns out it was a case of projectile dysfunction.
Figuring out how to starve a zombie isn’t difficult.
I Figured out the secret chord that David played!
How do figure skaters prepare for competitions
I finally figured out what I'm going to name my dad band...
Saw (goodnight everybody!)
How did the detective figure out who the engineer murdered?
I couldn't figure out how to fasten my seat belt...
I bought a coin machine yesterday and I can't figure out how it works
It literally makes no sense
Remember Spider Pig from the Simpsons movie? I figured out his secret identity!
I tried to remarry my ex-wife, but She figured out that I was only..
When I was young, my parents used to buy all my sports gear but now that I’m an adult I figured I should splurge and buy myself a nice hockey stick. When I went looking at the store I realized that my parents would only buy me low quality, inexpensive sticks to save money.
Cheapskates!........cheap helmets, cheap gloves...
My brother and I are on a tight deadline to make Dracula action figures.
I have to make every second Count.
Why do beginner artist always forget to draw the stick figure’s thumb when they draw a fist?
They forgot the punchline
Grandpa died because we couldn’t figure out his blood type.
At least he told us to be positive.
I figured out Forrest Gump’s password!
You could say I have an hour glass figure
It takes me an hour to figure out where my glasses are!
When I dropped my top-of-the-line Microsoft laptop on the asphalt, I figured it was ruined
Turns out I had barely scratched the Surface.
Figure out the joke yourself
I figured out how to get over someone
Now i know this usually isnt the subreddit to post this, but I met this dude here and i don’t know how else to reach him. We talked for a small bit and he told me he wanted to kill himself over a girl that left him, so if you’re reading this please know that if you still need to get over her: use a ladder
I'm still figuring out how to properly wear a face covering. Before I could master the art I was robbed of my beloved mask...
It was stolen from right under my nose.
Need help figuring out a pun
My work uses punny names for all its example scenarios. Things like Dustin Dubree, Dora Jarr, Duane Pipes, etc.
One of them is David Jochim and no one in my class of 7 can figure this out.
So it’s either not a pun, or we’re dense.
Theres 3.3 million people in here so I figured id go ahead and post that im looking for one night stand.
Matter of fact, make it 2. I need one for each lamp.
I couldn't figure out why the U.S. Mint wasn't working...
But then it started to make cents.
I have figured out why none of my friends like my cheesy jokes and puns.
They are laughtose intolerant.
I’ve started turning puns into homemade action figures.
My friend told me I could make six figures a year if I was a sculptor
He technically wasn't lying, but I still feel misled
I was going crazy, looking around, trying to figure out who said "heads up"
And that's when it hit me...
What do you call a Stick Figure that has been going to the gym?
I couldn’t figure out why my checkbook wouldn’t balance. It turns out I was adding instead of subtracting.
And that made all the difference.
I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger.
Scientists recently performed an experiment to figure out the gender of an ant. They would place them in a tub of water.
If they sank, girl ant. If they floated, buoyant.
Just figured I’d announce that I’ll be doing a theatrical performance on puns later this week.
What?! You don't know what a zombie's least favorite food is? You'll figure it out
it's a no-brainer really.
Figuring out how to starve a zombie is a no brainer.
Everyone remembers the historical figure Karl Marx
But no one has ever heard of his sister Onya, who invented the starting pistol
Everyone has heard of the historical figure Karl Marx.....
But no one ever remembers his sister Onya, who invented the starting pistol.
My brother and I make Dracula action figures for a living, and we are on a really tight deadline.
I have to make every second Count.
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