Falconer Puns

Because the bird in his hand had got a lot more than two in the bush.

In the Hawking hut.

It was a Wookie mistake

Having par-sex!

... Guess you could say that I've been watching them like a hawk!

It was now Hans free.

A pair of green

With a wook-key.

Does he become Captain Falcon?

It was Toy Yoda

If I get a falcon born between 1980-2000, I would officially own a millennial falcon. I wonder how fast it could do the kestrel run.

It was a millennial falcon.

Two falcons are passing through security, each carrying 3 dead squirrels. They weren't allowed to board, though - the airline had a strict limit of two carrions.

http://imgur.com/f20P0zK

I call it the "Kessel Runner".

Milk and Wookies.

A Millennial Falcon

Pets I want to have....

An otter name Harry Otter. A snake named Severus Snake. A tortoise named Voldetort. A chicken named Kylo Hen. A dog named Barkamedes. A deer named David Hasselhoof. A turkey named Green Gobbleen. A cat named Captain Ameowrica. A stork named Tony Stork. A pig named Peter Porker. A crocodile named Croctor Strange. A duck named Ducktor Doom. A squid named Abraham Inkin. A goose named Ryan Gooseling. A heron named Charlize Heron. A goat named Selena Goatmez An alpaca named Alpacachino. A carp name Leonardo Di’Carprio. A tuna named Tuna Turner. A horse named Neighlor Swift. A toad named Demi Lavatoad. A Rhino named Ryan Rhinolds. A swan named Swan Jovi. A Falcon named Jimmy Falcon. A ferret named Ferret Faucet. A rabbit named Hoptimus Prime. A cow named Moolissa McCarthy. A crow named Seth Crowgan. A fox named Charlie Fox. A cat named Katy Purry. A wolf named Howly Berry. A hamster named Scarlet Johamster. A parrot named Squakin Phoenix. A duck named DuckleBerry Finn. A canary named Jim Canary. A swarm of bees, all named Beeyoncé. A sheep named Meryl Sheep. An elk named Elkton John. A bear named Teddy Mercury. A ram named Gordon RAMsey. A shark named Fin Diesel. A jellyfish named Jelly Clarkson. An Iguana named Eddie Lizard. A hyena named Hyena Bonham Carter. A penguin named Robird Downey Jr.

a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

ITS SO CHEWY IT COULD FLY THE MILLENIUM FUCKING FALCON

Edit: Ramsay say bleh.

and turns to me and asked, "have you been cheating on me with a bird?"

So I look at her right in the eye and said, "I swear... It was just a peck on the cheek."

She almost kicked me out of the house.

It's too falcon far.

Not exactly a dadjoke, but she learned from the best.

So, it was last sunday and we did a family trip to the zoo with the whole family. Now our kids are 3 1/2 and 1/2 and we named them after strong animals, think "Leoni" (the Lioness) and "Falc" (the Falcon), not exactly those names, but you get the gist. We decided about our daughter's name about 4 years ago.

While we were standing at the entrance queue, my wife gently stroked our daughter's hair, lifted up our son, placing a kiss on his forehead, looked at me smiling and said:

"I have been waiting for this so long!"

"Uhm, to stand in line at the zoo?"

"No, honey, to .... take our zoo to the zoo!"

*groan*

https://clips.twitch.tv/BelovedTriangularFalconStrawBeary

Episode 7.... First scene with the falcon....

Me: hey Rae, that ship is called the millennium falcon.

Him: is that because it falls before it flies?

We were watching the Patriots/Falcons game, which had a ton of fog in the stadium obscuring camera views, when I dropped this one:

“It’s weird that the fog is still there when the stadium is full of fans.”

Leia says to Han, "Some things never change. You still drive me crazy."

And my dad turns to me with this stupid grin and says "It's pronounced the Millennium Falcon, not the 'me crazy'" And he just stared at me grinning while I cracked up in a crowded movie theater.

Dad: Hey look I have a falcon! Me: Ok? Dad: Guess what gender it is. Me: What? Dad: It's a mail! (male)

Wookiee mistake.

It was a millennial falcon.

It was a millennial falcon.

It was a millennial falcon.

It was a millenial falcon.

It was a millennial falcon.