Why did the falconer dislike idioms?

Because the bird in his hand had got a lot more than two in the bush.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andeleidun
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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Where does a really smart falconer live?

In the Hawking hut.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePun-dit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2018
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Why did Chewbacca crash the Millennium Falcon the first time he flew it

It was a Wookie mistake

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GTR-1003
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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What do you call it when you get dirty on the Millennium Falcon?

Having par-sex!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kra2ymonkey
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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I've been really keen on watching the SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket launches lately...

... Guess you could say that I've been watching them like a hawk!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/space0watch
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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Why was the Millennium Falcon easier to fly after the Force Awakens?

It was now Hans free.

πŸ‘︎ 115
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mojogoing
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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What kinds of socks do falcons wear?

A pair of green

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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How do you unlock the Millennium Falcon?

With a wook-key.

πŸ‘︎ 108
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πŸ‘€︎ u/89iroc
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
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If Falcon becomes Captain America

Does he become Captain Falcon?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mini_Mega
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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I was surprised to see the make of my Millenium Falcon model.

It was Toy Yoda

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
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If I get a falcon born between 1980-2000

If I get a falcon born between 1980-2000, I would officially own a millennial falcon. I wonder how fast it could do the kestrel run.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ May 19 2017
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I woke up this morning and saw a bird of prey in my backyard eating avocado toast and yelling β€œOk Boomer!”

It was a millennial falcon.

πŸ‘︎ 152
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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Falcons on a plane

Two falcons are passing through security, each carrying 3 dead squirrels. They weren't allowed to board, though - the airline had a strict limit of two carrions.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oregon2012
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2013
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Family got a Millennium Falcon rug for my birthday.

http://imgur.com/f20P0zK

I call it the "Kessel Runner".

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jehannum_505
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2016
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What do they have for supper on the Millennium Falcon?

Milk and Wookies.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2017
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What do you call a 30 year old peregrine?

A Millennial Falcon

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MotheringGoose
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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Pun pet names.

Pets I want to have....

An otter name Harry Otter. A snake named Severus Snake. A tortoise named Voldetort. A chicken named Kylo Hen. A dog named Barkamedes. A deer named David Hasselhoof. A turkey named Green Gobbleen. A cat named Captain Ameowrica. A stork named Tony Stork. A pig named Peter Porker. A crocodile named Croctor Strange. A duck named Ducktor Doom. A squid named Abraham Inkin. A goose named Ryan Gooseling. A heron named Charlize Heron. A goat named Selena Goatmez An alpaca named Alpacachino. A carp name Leonardo Di’Carprio. A tuna named Tuna Turner. A horse named Neighlor Swift. A toad named Demi Lavatoad. A Rhino named Ryan Rhinolds. A swan named Swan Jovi. A Falcon named Jimmy Falcon. A ferret named Ferret Faucet. A rabbit named Hoptimus Prime. A cow named Moolissa McCarthy. A crow named Seth Crowgan. A fox named Charlie Fox. A cat named Katy Purry. A wolf named Howly Berry. A hamster named Scarlet Johamster. A parrot named Squakin Phoenix. A duck named DuckleBerry Finn. A canary named Jim Canary. A swarm of bees, all named BeeyoncΓ©. A sheep named Meryl Sheep. An elk named Elkton John. A bear named Teddy Mercury. A ram named Gordon RAMsey. A shark named Fin Diesel. A jellyfish named Jelly Clarkson. An Iguana named Eddie Lizard. A hyena named Hyena Bonham Carter. A penguin named Robird Downey Jr.

a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clixer712
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
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What did Gordon Ramsay about the corned beef?

ITS SO CHEWY IT COULD FLY THE MILLENIUM FUCKING FALCON

Edit: Ramsay say bleh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ciaeric2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
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My wife was picking feathers off my sweater...

and turns to me and asked, "have you been cheating on me with a bird?"

So I look at her right in the eye and said, "I swear... It was just a peck on the cheek."

She almost kicked me out of the house.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2014
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Why haven't Elon Musk been to Mars yet?

It's too falcon far.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
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my wife's long con

Not exactly a dadjoke, but she learned from the best.

So, it was last sunday and we did a family trip to the zoo with the whole family. Now our kids are 3 1/2 and 1/2 and we named them after strong animals, think "Leoni" (the Lioness) and "Falc" (the Falcon), not exactly those names, but you get the gist. We decided about our daughter's name about 4 years ago.

While we were standing at the entrance queue, my wife gently stroked our daughter's hair, lifted up our son, placing a kiss on his forehead, looked at me smiling and said:

"I have been waiting for this so long!"

"Uhm, to stand in line at the zoo?"

"No, honey, to .... take our zoo to the zoo!"

*groan*

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Horst665
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2018
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How to embarrass your kid

https://clips.twitch.tv/BelovedTriangularFalconStrawBeary

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
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Watching starwars with my 5 year old today.....

Episode 7.... First scene with the falcon....

Me: hey Rae, that ship is called the millennium falcon.

Him: is that because it falls before it flies?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/infamouscheater
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2018
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I made my dad proud during the football game tonight.

We were watching the Patriots/Falcons game, which had a ton of fog in the stadium obscuring camera views, when I dropped this one:

β€œIt’s weird that the fog is still there when the stadium is full of fans.”

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrWordsmithMD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2017
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I was watching the new Star Wars with my dad and he drops this one...

Leia says to Han, "Some things never change. You still drive me crazy."

And my dad turns to me with this stupid grin and says "It's pronounced the Millennium Falcon, not the 'me crazy'" And he just stared at me grinning while I cracked up in a crowded movie theater.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JustinianTheWrong
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2016
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My dad came in with the mail balanced on his shoulder...

Dad: Hey look I have a falcon! Me: Ok? Dad: Guess what gender it is. Me: What? Dad: It's a mail! (male)

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fennecfox01
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2014
🚨︎ report
Chewbacca crashed the Millenium Falcon the first time he flew it.

Wookiee mistake.

πŸ‘︎ 147
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dashie1985
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
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I went to my backyard and saw a bird of prey eating avocado toast.

It was a millennial falcon.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
🚨︎ report
I went to my backyard this morning, and I saw a bird of prey eating avocado toast.

It was a millennial falcon.

πŸ‘︎ 143
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to the backyard this morning and saw a bird of prey drinking a pumpkin spice latte.

It was a millennial falcon.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Saw a bird eating avocado toast.

It was a millenial falcon.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BassWizard420
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I was in my backyard when I saw a bird of prey eating avocado toast.

It was a millennial falcon.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
🚨︎ report

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