Red Skelton's eye exam

To build up my spirits he said, โ€œNow, anything can affect your eye. Most anything. Like Iโ€™ve got one patient who lost an eye drinking coffee.โ€

I said, โ€œLost an eye drinking coffee?โ€

He said, โ€œYeah, he forgot to take the spoon out of the cup.โ€

http://red-skelton.info/articles/jokes/red-skeltons-eye-exam/

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/tfraymond
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 29 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Chinese guy goes to the optometrist for an eye exam and the doctor tells him "You have a cataract." And the Chines guy goes "No, I drive a Wincoln."
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/vonQuadratard
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 04 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Mom said she had an eye exam today.

I asked her if she's been studying.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 116
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/thegypsy
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 29 2014
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Do you concur?
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 492
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Royal-Derpness
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 08 2018
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Best Joke Iโ€™ve Ever Heard As An Optician

I was working a pre-assessment with an older guy before his exam and while I was checking his vision he stops and says;

โ€œI was at the eye doctor the other day and I told the doc, โ€˜hey man, why is it that everywhere I look, all I see is penises?โ€™ The doctor told me, โ€˜well, thatโ€™s because youโ€™re cock-eyed.โ€™โ€

I stopped what I was doing and laughed pretty hard, pretty loud, and shook the guys hand and told him he was hired.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/theoverseer20
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 15 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
My dad yesterday.

You know Arku57, you should study more for your eye exam. Maybe you'll get a better score.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Arku57
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 23 2015
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I have an eye doctor's appointment today

My new step dad texts me this morning:

Stepdad: "So did ya study for your eye exam?"

Me: "LOL nope"

Stepdad: "Well I'll text you the answers so you don't fail!!"

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 14
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/BongRipz4Satan
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 24 2014
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.