Red Skelton's eye exam

To build up my spirits he said, β€œNow, anything can affect your eye. Most anything. Like I’ve got one patient who lost an eye drinking coffee.”

I said, β€œLost an eye drinking coffee?”

He said, β€œYeah, he forgot to take the spoon out of the cup.”

http://red-skelton.info/articles/jokes/red-skeltons-eye-exam/

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tfraymond
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Chinese guy goes to the optometrist for an eye exam and the doctor tells him "You have a cataract." And the Chines guy goes "No, I drive a Wincoln."
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vonQuadratard
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Mom said she had an eye exam today.

I asked her if she's been studying.

πŸ‘︎ 116
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thegypsy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2014
🚨︎ report
Do you concur?
πŸ‘︎ 492
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Royal-Derpness
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Best Joke I’ve Ever Heard As An Optician

I was working a pre-assessment with an older guy before his exam and while I was checking his vision he stops and says;

β€œI was at the eye doctor the other day and I told the doc, β€˜hey man, why is it that everywhere I look, all I see is penises?’ The doctor told me, β€˜well, that’s because you’re cock-eyed.’”

I stopped what I was doing and laughed pretty hard, pretty loud, and shook the guys hand and told him he was hired.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theoverseer20
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad yesterday.

You know Arku57, you should study more for your eye exam. Maybe you'll get a better score.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arku57
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2015
🚨︎ report
I have an eye doctor's appointment today

My new step dad texts me this morning:

Stepdad: "So did ya study for your eye exam?"

Me: "LOL nope"

Stepdad: "Well I'll text you the answers so you don't fail!!"

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BongRipz4Satan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.