I call it “influen-za.”
A four chin teller
I said, “Yes please, thanks.”
The waiter responded: Today is special.
Police are looking for a large medium in smalls.
I used to work at a starbucks with my best bud to earn some extra cash after school. Every day an hour or so before closing without fail this older indian man would come in and order two large coffees.
We started to talk with the guy since there weren't many other people in the shop and he told us is name was Haind Sahit and that he was a night worker which is why he drank the coffee. After a while, we would just have the coffee ready for him as soon as he came in the door.
One evening my friend went out back to pick some supplies for refill and had to get something from the top shelf, being a short guy he grabbed an old ladder and started climbing but one of the steps broke and he fell and hit his head pretty hard.
He was rushed to the hospital and woke up a couple days later with no major damages but with a light case of amnesia.
Once he got back on his legs he started working at the starbucks again and as soon as Haind heard, he came back to see how my friend was and stepped up to the desk to greet him. Sadly my friend couldn't remember him at all and just asked what he would like to order. Haind turned around with a tear in his eyes and said "You know, you should really have checked that ladder before you used it".
There was a glimmer in my friends eye and he immediatly started preparing two large coffees. As Haind saw he started smiling and crying and came around the desk to give my friend a hug. He asked my friend "What happened, how did you remember?" and my friend answered "Haind Sahit is always venti venti".
A pair of friars came up with the great idea to use the extra flowers scattered around the monastery to start a flower shop. After the first week, the new flower shop is bustling and quickly becomes the most popular flower shop in town. This upsets a fellow florist, John, because he is losing his business. John decides to go down to the docks and find someone to destroy the competition's flower shop. John ends up finding a large sailor by the name of Hugh. Hugh promptly goes and completely destroys the friars' flower shop, effectively putting the friars out of business. Once again proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
Made a large batch of meatballs a couple of weeks ago and put the extras in the freezer. Last night was spaghetti night, so I pulled out a bag. Opened up the bag and held one up. Then said to my wife, in my best Italian accent...
"Now that's an icy meat-ah-ball."
She was not nearly as amused as I.
Long Island medium- "hi, I'm a medium"
Dad-"a medium? More like an extra large"
He cackled and walked away.
O dad.
I was packaging up the pho I made tonight and realized just how much extra I had.
After the third large container was filled, I boasted to my SO, "we have food pho the week!"
My SO just shook his head.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxyU4WTD3JE
The dulcid tones of Michael's favorite hip-hop artists are discussed in this melodious episode of Dad Joke Daily. From Young Jeezy to Geriatric Jeezy, from Lil' Wayne to Extra-Large Wayne, it's all in here.
Everytime my dad has to go to a fast food place like McDonald's or KFC and he gets to the window to pick up his food he acts all confused and says
"I didn't order this? Where's my extra large pizza with everything on it?"
They either laugh or just stare for a minute
Background, I work for a relatively large University as front line tech support for Staff and Students, walk up, phone, email, chat, etc.
Today was first day of classes so a large number of students and staff passed through our doors. Walk-ups take a number then we can press a button on our system to claim the next number and we can call them.
We had extra help today so not all of the tickets that were pushed were called.
I pull up my ticket system start clicking and calling, a lot of them, no response. I get to 404, call it out, no response so I repeat it and "Not Found? ok".
A four chin teller
A four-chin teller.
A four-chin teller.
A four-chin teller.
A four-chin teller
