Feeling excluded, my toddler asked me to stop spelling out words while he was around.
Why was a sausage excluded from the dinner party?
The hot dogs and pickles agreed he was the wurst
On a video of a custom 2 Fort map that excludes the middle area (Team Fortress 2)
You know what they say about hindsight!
An open letter to the mods of r/dadjokes:
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNQRSTUVWXYZ
If you came here looking for an OP, you got it.
What's a decent Asian stereotype?
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, “Wait! I’m a talking tree!"
The lumberjack grinned and said: “And you will dialogue.”
There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.
Only a fraction of people understand that joke.
We all know where the Big Apple is but do you know where the...
“Dad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
I keep having this dream about a horse in full battle armor.
Actually it's probably more of a knight mare.
Mods are asleep, so here's an imperial ruler
“Did someone say doobie?”——Snoop Dogg.
The culprit is a major D.
What’s green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree could kill you?
Massive leak in the bathrooom
High mass in the extraordinary form
I keep asking what LGBT stands for
But I never get a straight answer.
My daughter got scared when she had her first period
I told her it was an ovary action.
Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditioned it.
My sister majored in Philosophy. I saw her sobbing the other day, worried she won’t get a job.
I said, “Are you having an existential cry, sis?”
How many stars do you want ?
What animal has the biggest boobs?
I can always tell, just by looking, when someone is lying.
I can also tell when they're standing.
EDIT: from https://jokeriot.com
He is no longer worried about a receding heir line.
Husband told me he'd gotten me a 14-carat diamond. Sigh.
Jazz music is evil.
It promotes sax and violins.
What do spanish programmers code in?
Why does Waldo wear a striped shirt?
Well, he sure doesn't want to be spotted
Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky?
I guess you can say the baby was airborne
Edit: Sorry if the joke is terrible, I just made it up.
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