A very exciting pun
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︎ Mar 24 2020
We just bought our new dream house and as I was showing our daughter around for the first time, she asked excitedly, "What's upstairs!?" I chuckled and replied, "Awwwww sweetie...."
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︎ Sep 01 2020
Everyone's excited that 2020 is ending...
...but forget that the year after 2021 is 2020 too
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︎ Dec 28 2020
I told my husband I was excited to see who's nose our baby has on the ultrasound, his reply...
he can't have my nose, I need it!
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︎ Jan 16 2021
I have been making pencil sketches of my family and it's not exciting at all
Back to the drawing, bored
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︎ Jan 01 2021
Everyone was excited at the Autopsy Club.
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︎ Nov 01 2020
Iβm excited it see Pun: The Musical
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︎ Dec 31 2020
You always have to keep your job exciting.
Being a well driller, I often dream I could drill right to the center of the earth.
If I didn't have such a great imagination my job would be just boring.
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︎ Dec 14 2020
Frankenstein was excited
It was his first 'body-building' competition.
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︎ Nov 28 2020
Iβm excited for Jan 1, 2021
Then I can finally say that hindsight is 2020.
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︎ Oct 22 2020
Apparently Orion wasn't too excited about his new belt.
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︎ Sep 24 2020
My wife said she wanted to take me out. I was so excited...
Until I saw the body bag.
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︎ Oct 03 2020
Got a new tattoo
My wife was complaining about how i'm not spontanious or creative, unless it involves terrible jokes, so i went out and got a tattoo (my first one). But since im not very creative i had them tattoo a pic of my thermos from work. I went home all excited and showed her my new tattoo! She was really confused about it. She looked at it for awhile and when she went to touch it i yelled at her not to touch the thermos tat. I think she's leaving me now :(
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︎ Nov 09 2020
I was so excited to work this morning that last night I slept like a baby.
I woke up every 2 hours and cried.
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︎ Sep 02 2020
Just what is it about all the Psychics that I visit, they're either totally depressed or too excitable..
..it's really hard to find the happy Medium.
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︎ Aug 24 2020
My wife was very excited to finally introduce our kids to her sister...
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︎ Oct 01 2020
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.
It's Groundbreaking work.
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︎ Sep 23 2020
I was really excited when my wife bought me a book for my birthday called β69 Mating Positionsβ.
Turns out itβs about Chess strategies.
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︎ Aug 30 2020
What did the overly excited Gardner do when spring finally came?
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︎ Aug 25 2020
People who wear glasses must be excited for next year.
It's the first time they'll see 2020.
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︎ Aug 19 2019
What do you call a cow without legs?
Ground beef.
(My Dad was very excited to tell me this during our video chat tonight)
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︎ Jan 03 2021
I donβt know why, but thereβs something exciting about evaluating womenβs armpits...
Its just really axilla rating.
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︎ Jul 27 2020
As a lepidopterist I find my job so exciting
it really gives me butterflies
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︎ Aug 26 2020
I know an archaeologist who found a human leg bone during an excavation. The other archaeologists got excited and went over to help him.
Turned out to be quite the shin dig.
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︎ Jun 25 2020
Iβm so excited! Scientists have tested cloning on humans.
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︎ May 26 2020
I got an antique dosimeter from USSR and I was pretty excited.
Then I noticed it only measures comrads.
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︎ Jul 05 2020
My date was really excited when I invited her over for cocktails, but she left extremely disappointed.
She didnβt want to hear stories about my rooster.
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︎ May 26 2020
I came home with a salamander on my shoulder and my son, all excited, shouted, "What's his name!?β Smiling, I replied, βTiny!" My kid laughed and asked, βWhat an odd name, why do you call him Tiny?β
I explained, βBecause...heβs my newt!"
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︎ Aug 04 2020
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
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︎ Oct 09 2020
What type of medical condition excites politicians?
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︎ May 15 2020
We were all excited about our mountaineering trip, but then our friend Max chickened out.
He has always been an anti climb Max.
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︎ Apr 29 2020
I had a friend join at cult that believes when they die they become water vapor
I told him they will be mist
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︎ Sep 05 2020
Today I asked a hot girl at the gym what her new year's resolution was. She replied βScrew you!β
So I'm pretty excited for the new year!
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︎ Dec 21 2020
I've never been excited over drill bits...
...I've always considered them to be boring tools.
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︎ Jan 06 2020
The COVID19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that the social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
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︎ Apr 28 2020
Started reading a book last night...
I was so excited to finally this book! Itβs a book about anti gravity.
I couldnβt put it down!
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︎ Jan 29 2021
In NYC, after these difficult times many people were excited the Lego store was finally reopening.
People were outside lined up for blocks.
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︎ Jun 09 2020
Pulled off a real-life-one, i guess...
Soo.. a little background: my mother was about to visit for a walk outside the next day when this dialogue happened; also: my native language is german and i don't know if this very common in english as well, but my daughter calls my mother <stgm_at's-mother-first-name>-gramma. for the sake of this post let's assume her name is elizabeth.
so here goes...
(i enter the living room; wife & daughter sitting on the couch)
daughter: (in a moderately excited voice) hey dad, you know who's going to visit us tomorrow?
me: (acting as if i didn't know) don't know, who?
daughter: elizabeth-gramma.
me: huh, really, but do you know who is also going to visit us?
(daughter looks at me even more excited, there was defenitely a twinkle in her eye; wife looks at me sceptical)
daughter: don't know, who?
me: my mum.
(cue rolling eyes and groan from my wife and laughter from my daughter)
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︎ Jan 24 2021
Sent my dad a nearby dive photo of sea lions in kelp & told him it made me officially excited to do local/non-tropical dives... his reply?
Well, that seals the deal!
It got a good laugh out of me. Photo here for the curious.
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︎ May 20 2020
I was excited to join the Autopsy Club
Wednesdayβs are Open Mike Night.
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︎ Oct 03 2020
So excited for autopsy club!
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︎ Sep 22 2020
Everyone was excited to be at our autopsy club this evening.
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︎ Aug 25 2020
I was so excited that 2020 is almost over.
Then I realized after 2021 is 2020 too.
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︎ Oct 11 2020
Everyone was excited at the Autopsy Club...
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︎ Nov 03 2020
Everyone was excited at the Autopsy Club
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︎ Oct 02 2020
Everyone was excited about the Autopsy Club meeting...
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︎ Jun 19 2020
Everyone was excited about the Autopsy Club meeting...
It was open open Mike night.
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︎ Jun 19 2020
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