A locksmith had to go to court to give evidence last week.
Apparently he was the key witness.
Stolen from dad jokes.
I have evidence that Robin Hood is aromantic and asexual.
I got arrested at NASA.
I didn't understand the gravity of the situation.
Edit: thanks for the awards, kind strangers!
Gamora: "I am going to die surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy."
My GF dressed up as a police woman and told me I was under arrest under the suspicion that I was good in bed c
After 3 mins all charges were dropped due to lack of evidence
I went to the museum and saw a painting of a criminal, who claimed his innocence and insisted the police planted evidence.
Johnny Depp has lost his case against The Sun newspaper even with evidences
Hard to win if Amber is Heard and Johnny is not
I got arrested for stepping on a cheerio
Guess the authorities thought I was a cereal killer
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
Did you hear about the guy who went on a fruit diet? In just 2 days, he became completely obnoxious
Evidently, it is enough to make a Mango crazy
My girlfriend said she'll leave me if I don't support Trump.
Where do mansplainers get their water?
If April showers bring may flowers what do may flowers bring?
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
There's a term for people like Trump
When I tried to admit new evidence to the trial, the judge threw a Granny Smith at me...
I then remembered it's an apple-late court.
Scientists recently uncovered evidence of a dinosaur that loved to lift weights.
They've decided to call it hella sore.
[In court] Judge: After seeing all the evidence, I am sending you to jail.
Defendant: Say-you-did-what.
Judge: What did you say?
Defendant: Thanks for reversing my sentence.
There's been talk that the ancient Egyptians invented cement.
Historians have looked into the ruins for evidence, but there's nothing concrete.
Recent evidence shows that Earth’s magnetic field is weakening.
Yes. It’s true. Current events have made it less attractive.
I found some concrete evidence.
we’ve got some concrete evidence
My friends don’t believe I can make cement
They’re always asking for concrete evidence
I took a picture of my son sleeping earlier today.
Then I sent the picture to the FBI as evidence of a kid napping.
What does a lawyer wear in court to handle evidence after dark?
Cement truck driver stole my identity and nobody would believe me
But then I found some concrete evidence
My boss is making me dig through a stack of hay bare-handed to look for anything that shouldn’t be there. I suspect he dropped his wedding ring while having an affair with the new girl he hired in the pile and now he is desperate to hide the evidence from his wife who might be on to him.
But I’m just grasping at straws here.
Someone threw a piece of a brick through my window last night
The police aren’t helping because there isn’t enough concrete evidence.
Twitter has gone too far! Now they're banning Mario for threatening the President.
Evidently he found out that Trump was in Peach twice.
Concrete evidence that kids are indeed stupid.
My theory as to why USA and Cuba had their dispute was because of oil. Evidence you say. I just found Fidels Castrol
What are plants that captured evidence of crime called?
Why wasn't the rock allowed into the party?
He wasn't "granite" permission.
I read about one famous detective. Man was always catching criminals by simple luck. Either he would just luckily stumble across damning evidence or luckily catch the criminal in the act.
I think his name was Sheer luck Holmes
I got into an argument with a cement mixer the other day.
I tried my hardest, but he had some real concrete evidence.
Once considered to be holding funerals near a dead crow, now evidence indicates that crows may be examining the body and surrounding area for potential threats to the flock.
It's a murder investigation.
Did you hear about the Beever that was sent to prison.
The evidence against him was damming.
So evidently there's a group of anarchist butter makers in WI
Evidently some people just want to watch the world churn.
Bill Nye has a daughter who doesn't believe in science.
Why can you never get away with vandalizing wet cement?
The police have concrete evidence against you.
I did a dumb thing
I wrote my name in wet cement, but I was stupid and I wrote my first and my last name, now they've got my name, they've got my fingerprints its pretty concrete evidence...
Have you heard of atheism?
It’s a non-prophet organization
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