So last night my boyfriend left the bedroom door open to get more heat in the room because there are more heating vents in the hallway than in the bedroom. I said, "You might say it's eVENTful." He didn't laugh. So then I said, "You'll laugh eVENTually."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lovina9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
QuickTime Event
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πŸ‘€︎ u/greengo122
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Told my kid that I was taking my Mom to a Covid Vaccine event at the convention center.

They said, β€œOh, a mass shooting.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Videoptional
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Auntie went up ladder into high part of house. High part of house not so strong. High part of house have dangerous things. I worry about Auntie. She up there long time. Later Auntie come down ladder, safe. Whole event was..

Auntie climb attic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/astrosmash77
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Current Events
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RogueDisciple
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
I definitely feel like we didn't prepare enough for all of last year's terrible events.

But then, hindsight is always 2020.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Javelin is the best throwing event.

Discus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theMikethe
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
My buddy got to the Nissan dealership just in time to buy his truck during a sales event.

It was the Final Frontier

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SplashbackDeuce
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a meteor that causes an extinction event

A disasteroid

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Terrence_shark
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
🚨︎ report
What tool would deal best with a traumatic event?

A coping saw!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thingie2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the most popular event at autopsy club?

Open Mike night.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Musicferret
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A lot of people are shocked by the recent events in NASCAR

What is often characterized as a very conservative organization has taken a stance against racism. I'm not surprised at all though. To anyone who's been paying attention, from its very beginnings, NASCAR has always been veering to the left.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Keep in mind that given all of this year's events, Thanksgiving dinner can get heated

It can get re-heated the next day as well

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pikindaguy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
You can book my band for corporate events

We're called Linkedin Park

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UweBlab
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I ripped my pants yesterday.

It was pretty em-bare-ass-ing.

Edit: May or may not be based on real events.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cylasbreakdown
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
🚨︎ report
We got our air ducts cleaned today

It was very eventful.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FaylerBravo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
With so many sporting events canceled, they’re going to televise the World Origami Championship.

It’s on Paperview

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rockboxatx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My Dad(64) always shows up to every event 10 minutes after it's started. We bought him a watch, told him the start time was earlier than it was, we've tried everything, but nothing works...

We just have to accept that he's a Late Boomer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/QuestionableQuery
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
The re-opening of LEGO stores was the biggest event of 2020.

People were lined up for blocks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dgpx89
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the frog community's favorite sporting event?

Marsh Madness

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Well I mean I would be mad...
πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xxDr-Beckyxx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I use Ironman sounds in my phones event calander for important stuff.

It's a Stark reminder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zerogummi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Certain Olympic events should be thrown out

Discuss

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/h0ll0wface
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I make my dog wear shoes at social events

So nobody notices his forepaws.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/salazarjohann
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a potato who goes to a sporting event?

A spec-tater!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out...

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."

Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"

"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."

The man can't believe it.

"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"

Naturally, they're both shocked.

"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."

Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."

They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.

"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"

The man puts down his fruit and responds,

"It's a date!"

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
One of these days HR is gonna get called...

Talking amongst the office about current events and the Matt Gaetz scandal came up.

Coworker "An older guy in power taking advantage of young women? That's a tale as old as time..."

Me "From what I've seen the tail wasn't even 18..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anix421
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
The re-opening of LEGO stores was a big event in 2020...

People were lined up for blocks.

https://i.imgur.com/Ph9QdvL.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bill_Baldwin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m gutted I couldn’t go to the cheese tasting event this week

I heard it was a really fondue

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nymphomanius
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm planning a charity event for people who can't ejaculate.

Just let me know if you can't come.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HyperGameGuy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
It's amazing how many large events have been cancelled recently.

It has been an unconventional year.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MmmVomit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
After the events of Avengers: Endgame, Professor Hulk opened a custom woodworking business

It was called Bruce Banisters

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AllanCD
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
With so many sporting events being delayed or cancelled, one sports TV outlet decided to televise the 'World Origami Championships'

It's on paperview

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Arguing over current events is perfectly natural, but there’s a time and a place.

It makes people uncomfortable when they see you mask debating in public.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimgolgari
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
The crossover event we’ve all been waiting for.
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jokebadly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I needed hot air balloon pilots for an event. I could either hire or use prison labor.

Dad told me I should weigh the pros and cons first.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/exaball
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Any engineers here? My trans sister is one.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mak_101
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Anyone remember the first Lennox Lewis - Evander Holyfield fight? I heard it was a black tie event.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/puppylove1000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Electric current events. /r/Jokes/comments/gttx2j/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/holymolybreath
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
The re-opening of Lego stores was a big event

Really

Oh yeah, people were lined up for blocks

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/toolaroola12
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
With so many supporting events being canceled, they're going to televise the World Origami Championships.

It will be on Paperview.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
LEGO stores reopening will be one of the biggest events of 2020

People will be lined up for blocks

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nebulas-Entity
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
With so many sporting events being delayed or cancelled, one sports TV outlet decided to televise the World Origami Championship.

It’s on Paperview!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dennyitlo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
With so many sporting events being cancelled they’re having to televise the World Origami Championship...

It’s on paperview.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/niloc12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report

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