Esses Puns

A paragraph

(This is my No-L greeting.)

L’ess cargo.

But that's just my ass-ess-ment.

So I wrote an U-Ess-ay

Nine-esse

To have better axe-ess to apples.

As told by my 8 year old.

So I just call her prints-ess

...about why all the damn esses? And why it takes a full consarn second to say his wife's name.

Hey guys, this might sound too cheesy and I'm not sure if I'm posting on the right subreddit.

Every Saturday I give my SO a printed typography paper that I personally design with a pun of her name on it (her name is Des, I call her Mae so either is good).

Here's a sample of what I do.

Problem is, I can make the designs, but I'm running out of puns. Here's a list of what I've already done:

Des puns:

• Hardest

• Wordes (Words)

• Widest

• Uncondesionally (Unconditionally)

• DrivES

• Dessert

• Fades

• Des (This)

• Holidess (Happy Holidays!)

• Desperate

• Desision (Decision)

• Decades

• Desert

• Destination

• Dress (DrESs)

• Despresso (Espresso)

Mae puns:

• Maend (I hope you don't maend(mind)
• Maecadamia (Macadamia)
• Maengo (Mango)
• Maecaroni (Macaroni)
• Maeple (Maple)
• Lifetimae (Lifetime)
• Imaegine (Imagine)
• Chamaeleon (Chameleon)
• Caramael (Caramel)
• Achievemaent (Achievement)
• Gmaes (Games)
• Maek (Make)
• Drmae (Dream)
• Dramey (Dreamy)
• Maesure (Measure)
• Blmae (Blame)
• Maet (Mate)
• Climaet (Climate)
• Ultimaet (Ultimate)
• Maebe (Maybe)
• Mae (My one and only)
• Mae (Whatever May Happen)
• Maen (You mean everything to me)
• Maent (We're meant to be)
• Amaezing (Amazing)
• Maeutiful (Beautiful... I know)
• Maechiatto (Macchiato)

I'd really appreciate some help if you guys have any puns reserved. Anything will do, really.

Thanks!

EDIT: Formatting

L’ess cargo.