I used Brylcreem this morning to slick back my hair like my father used to do. My wife asked me what I was doing.

I said, "I'm having a dad hair day."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Slick wraps giving slick captions.
πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Im_Batman_too
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Slick dad joke used in title Toronto Star article reporting spill on highway

https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2016/07/19/salad-dressing-spill-on-dvp-ramp-causes-traffic-mayo-hem.html

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/canadasecond
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2016
🚨︎ report
I asked the librarian where books about oil were located.

She said try the non-friction section.

πŸ‘︎ 362
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EgonVector
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.

He just can’t part with it.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Which country has the most oil?

Greece

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shooked_bruv420
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I spilled some oil

And now it’s spoiled .

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/malker84
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Mama Frog was really struggling with her youngest, Little Hop. He couldn’t seem to sit still!

That is, at least not long enough to learn any of the many, many important things a frog needs to learn in order to be a frog.

You see, a frog needs to be super slick in order to get by. A frog without proper skills, well, he may as well be a toad.

Anyways, every time Mama Frog went about trying to teach Little Hop something, he would just bounce.. and bounce.. and bounce..

And every time Mama Frog had reached her limit of patience, right before giving up, she’d say to Little Hop, β€œIf you keep on keepin’ on hoppin around all aimless, I’m gonna turn you into a toad!”

Which, upon hearing, Little Hop would stop his hop and settle. You see, he knew well enough that he wanted no part of being a toad.

Well, on one particular day, during one such lesson, Little Hop had taken again to bouncing here, and bouncing there - and just about everywhere besides a place he could listen! And on this same particular day, Mama Frog’s patience was worn real, real, thin, you see, and she got sudden filled with a terrible frustration.

And just like a firecracker went off, in a sudden snap, Mama Frog turned Little Hop straight into a toad!

And when it was done, Mama Frog looked at him direct, shook her head, and said..

β€œI toad you so.”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/martianrome
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the oil say when it crashed it's price into negative value?

Oil be back!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/woyteck
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
When my grandpa got sick, the doctor told us to smear lard all over his backside every day...

He went downhill really fast after that.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad was so cool and collected when he explained the tanker rupture to the president...

It was a slick performance.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m reading a book about WD-40.

It’s non-friction.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I used too much of my wife’s moisturizer after taking my shower this morning.

So I called in slick for work today.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I accidentally used too much of my wife’s moisturizer while getting ready for work.

Now I might have to call in slick.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone said my outfit was gay

I told them it came out of the closet this morning

πŸ‘︎ 131
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/604taco
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2018
🚨︎ report
After years of research, experts finally determined the leading cause of dry skin:

Towels.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JackMcCracken
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you do when you friend can't get a grip?

Give them a vice

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
🚨︎ report
A bit of oil was floating in a puddle creating a swirly rainbow effect

It's pretty slick

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2017
🚨︎ report
My dad, on the seats he got us for Star Wars

We have fighter jet seats

F17, F18

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LeoNickle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2015
🚨︎ report
Am I ready to be a dad now?

It has been raining the last few days where I live, especially so this morning. My girlfriend, as I was leaving, told me:

SO: "Be careful today on your way to work... The roads are very slick."

Me: I know! Last week, one tried to con me out of $50!

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ASinglePlural
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2016
🚨︎ report
I watched a documentary on oil pollution today...

It was pretty slick.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pquads_4
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2017
🚨︎ report
Got my friend a while back

Scene: We're chilling in the livingroom talking about all the good things that came from separate countries.

Him: "Nothing good comes from Greece."

Me: "John Travolta."

Him: "John Travolta isn't from Greece. Oh God damnit."

I couldn't breathe and he just sat there angrily.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheyreAllGone
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2014
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked by an apprentice at work

Kid walks into work with a slick new trim and I ask him "you get a hair cut?" he quickly turned around with a cheeky grin and said "nah, I got all of them cut!"

God knows how long he was waiting to say that

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/skepachino
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2014
🚨︎ report
My friend's dad just pulled this one on us.

So a couple friends and I are watching a movie in one of my friend's basement (The Master of Disguise - Netflix lol). And his dad comes downstairs and in the most intimidating, serious voice says, "Nick, what do I do when you do something wrong?" The tension in the room skyrockets, and Nick says nonchalantly, "Nothing." His dad then slickly replies, "I scream... there's ice cream on the table if you want any."

Chuckling intensifies.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HITmonrocklee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.