Epileptic Puns

A list of puns related to "Epileptic"

Why did the epileptic come to the USA?

To have the right to be secure against unreasonable seizure.

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👤︎ u/Water4real
📅︎ Apr 16 2021
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Why did Julius Caesar, after having an epileptic fit, during the time he was a hostage of pirates, immediately need a dictionary?

As Caesar's seizure ceased at sea, he said "I'm sleepy" and grabbed some zzz's.

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👤︎ u/moudre_plus_de_rouge
📅︎ Apr 14 2021
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What dance do epileptics do?

The Jitterbug

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👤︎ u/yoyocrazybones99
📅︎ Jan 27 2021
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It’s a little known fact that Gaius Julius Caesar suffered from epileptic fits.

Also known as a Julius Seizure.

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👤︎ u/vehiclesales
📅︎ Nov 28 2020
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My neighbor is an epileptic midget who really loves pizza.

Seems like everyday he’s having little seizures.

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👤︎ u/legendary-jake
📅︎ Oct 23 2020
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My uncle once had a 24-hour epileptic episode.

Now that's what I call seizing the day.

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👤︎ u/Jazst
📅︎ Feb 09 2020
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What's the difference between an epileptic oyster schucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?

The epileptic oyster shucker shucks between fits...

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👤︎ u/carriager
📅︎ Aug 22 2020
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What is an epileptic's favourite appetiser?

Seizure salad

I'm going to hell for this

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👤︎ u/forrestree
📅︎ Jul 28 2020
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What do you call an epileptic emperor?

Julius seizure

Edit: Oh and thanks a bunch for the silver homie

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👤︎ u/LimblessOctopus
📅︎ Dec 20 2019
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What does an epileptic on a diet eat?

A seizure salad

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👤︎ u/gua_lao_wai
📅︎ Oct 04 2019
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How do epileptics make the most of life?

Seize the day!

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👤︎ u/anchovie_icecream_
📅︎ Feb 07 2018
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What's an epileptic's least favorite kind of salad?

Seizure salad

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👤︎ u/Brains-With-Benefits
📅︎ Jul 10 2019
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Epileptics are always so upbeat

It must be because they seize the day.

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👤︎ u/pacos-ego
📅︎ Apr 24 2018
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My epileptic brother applied for a job at a strobe light factory.

I'm sure he'll fit in there.

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👤︎ u/Mudpucket1969
📅︎ Jun 16 2018
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I bought a head of epileptic lettuce

Had to make "seizure" salad

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👤︎ u/jawknee_homicide
📅︎ Jul 14 2017
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What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden?

A seizure salad.

(It was suggested to post this here from r/jokes)

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👤︎ u/Isitfortytwo
📅︎ Aug 01 2017
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i once had an epileptic gold fish, every time i took it out for a walk it flopped about
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👤︎ u/Secretown
📅︎ Aug 30 2018
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TIL that Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.

His name? Julius Seizure.

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👤︎ u/EvenDeeper
📅︎ Apr 29 2017
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I have an epileptic dog.

And he has to take phenobarbital to control his seizures. I was talking with my girlfriend. Her: We need to go to the vet, we're almost out of phenobarbital. Me: Yeah, pretty soon we won't have any phenobarb at all.

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👤︎ u/not-alex
📅︎ Jan 19 2015
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What is the difference between an epileptic clam shucker and a hooker with diarrhea?

One shucks between fits.

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👤︎ u/Gaeleng
📅︎ Sep 22 2018
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what do you call an epileptic emperor?

juilus seizure

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👤︎ u/DeliverDaLiver
📅︎ Aug 17 2019
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What's an epileptic's most despised appetizer?

Seizure salad.

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👤︎ u/marimochan96
📅︎ Oct 20 2016
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What's an epileptic's least favorite kind of salad?

A seizure salad.

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👤︎ u/buttengine
📅︎ Sep 18 2018
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What do you do with epileptic lettuce?

You make a seizure salad.

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👤︎ u/birthday-party
📅︎ Jul 19 2013
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What do you make with epileptic lettuce?

A seizure salad!

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👤︎ u/Trtlman
📅︎ Jan 19 2015
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What do you make with epileptic lettuce?

Make a seizure salad!

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👤︎ u/EggrollsForever
📅︎ Dec 09 2015
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