My brother won 5 million dollars on the lottery, then promptly spent it all on a solid gold, jewel-encrusted garbage can.

What a waste!

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📅︎ Oct 31 2019
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That Suitcase Must be Jam-Packed imgur.com/Dm0Dw4m
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📅︎ Jul 12 2013
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Giving our newly on the job waitress a hard time

Waitress: And what can I get for you Sir?

Dad: I'll take the Parmesan Encrusted Steak please.

Waitress: What temperature would you like that cooked?

Dad: 500...... KELVIN!

Me (facepalming): ...He'd like his steak medium...

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👤︎ u/gloriously
📅︎ Sep 17 2013
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