A few years ago, we started a show that I quite frankly never thought would work.
Nearly four years later, including two sold out appearances at San Francisco Sketchfest and a local TV featurette, our show "Capitol PUNishment" is now streaming on Twitch Friday night at 8:30pm PST.
I hope it's ok to post this in here. If not, feel free to remove with no hard feelings. Just encouraging pun lovers to check out what is best described as "a fast-paced, in-the-moment spectacle that combines everything you love about gameshows, rap-battles, and "dad" jokes, into a unique and hilarious competitive format."
Our channel is twitch.tv/capitolpuns
Here's a little video to help paint the picture: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2RE9PgmfXo
Cameraderie
Textbook pyramid scheme.
βYou guys are doing a grate job.β
Go little rockstar.
Dogs. Cos we let sleeping dogs lie.
Lovely man. Terrible cabinet maker.
Bro Eucalyptus!
Theyβre all neigh-sayers.
βThis one has a hole in it.β
My wife was dying trying not to laugh too much and encourage him.
He swears he made it up on his own. Original or not, I couldnβt be prouder.
It was joint support for my joint support.
Because they didnβt want to encourage Karma chameleon s.
...that actually encourages you to pick your nose.
I thought this was so great that I made matching labels for the Tapth and the Thoap.
For quacking jokes
EDIT: this joke did wayyy better than I expected lol. Thank you all for the words of encouragement, awards, and corny jokes to follow up! Iβm excited to make my family cringe for years to come
Thats the spirit
I mean the whole point is that there are kids there. Should we really be encouraging monkeys to drink in front of children?
βYou ghost girl!β
One day God was looking down at earth and saw all of the naughty retireesβ behavior that was going on... So He called His angels and sent one to earth for a time.
When the angel returned, he told God, βYes, it is not good on earth; 95% of retirees are misbehaving and only 5% are not.β
God thought for a moment and said, 'Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion.'
So God called another angel and sent her to earth for a time.
When the angel returned, she went to God and said, 'Yes, it's true. The earth is in decline; 95% of retirees are misbehaving, but 5% are being good...' God was not pleased...!
So He decided to e-mail the 5% who were good, because he wanted to encourage them, and give them a little something to help them keep going.
Do you know what the e-mail said?
Okay, I was just wondering, because I didn't get one either!
Theyβre always encouraging me to take whisks.
Thanks to her, Iβm graduating from Sky diving school.
to encourage everyone, he says βletβs get this road on the showβ
Every where he drove it, people shouted "Look at that S-Car go!"
He was so brave and even tried to encourage us, the family around him, with his last breaths. He kept whispering to us to Be Positive.
Ewe do ewe.
But thatβs just my two scents.
They really lifted my spirits.
Tell them to "log on."
Pear Pressure
Iβm not a very witty person, but a bartender was taking a cup to dish and she was like, βomg everybody look at this drink! Doesnβt it look so good?β (sarcastically) And it was whatever alcohol was in it and a juul pod package inside the cup
And I was like, βomg itβs a mint juulepβ and everybody laughed even the owner of the company who was there. Felt very good.
I want it to be clear of how slow minded I am. Itβs so bad that I will stop mid-sentence because I canβt come up with the right word. So for a joke to hit so well I just gotta thank you guys for encouraging me to make puns and be that funny guy at workβ€οΈ
It's coming back now. Thanks for the encouragement.
SPOILER:
This one came whirling in pretty fast.
This is from last night, pizza night.
(I have two pizzas in-hand)
Me (47 yo dad): Hey kids (2 12 yos + 1 11 yo), i have a question!
Them: (in a surly tone) huh/grumble/no response?
Me: If I throw a pizza...(my eyes begin to twinkle)
Them: (seeing the signs, they scatter in attempt to get out of earshot, but they're too slow)
Me: ... Will it become at YEET-ZA?!?!? (I begin cackling)
11 yo: Busts out laughing.
12 yo daughter: DON'T GIVE HIM ANY ATTENTION, YOU'RE ENCOURAGING HIM!!!
I'm so fucking proud... Feel like i leveled up on this one!
But I guess he didnβt get my incentives.
We're in a poly-hammerous relationship
All thanks to a strong local motive.
The other six are the Zeroes.
I thought this was so great that I made matching labels for the Tapth and the Thoap.
Thanks to him, Iβm soon graduating from the Sky Diving school.
