Can’t Elope

A man fell in love with a melon and they wanted to get married, but they cantaloupe!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoLoMoXI
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?

They got hitched.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/acherem13
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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Two antlers got married

They ant-eloped.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Le_DERp_Diego
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
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What's a fancy term for coders being poached from a company?

Dev elopment

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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I was driving through Las Vegas when I saw an ant riding a gazelle to a wedding chapel.

It was my first time seeing an ant elope.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cobclob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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Why did the melons run away and get married instead of have a big church wedding like their parents wanted?

Because they could elope.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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2 fruits were struggling to get married

I guess they can't elope

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlackShadow153
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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Which melon is unable to secretly marry?

Can't Elope

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkanine9
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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I’m reading a book about these two melons that have a forbidden love. They’ve tried to run away together many times, but are caught every time.

It seems that no matter how hard they try, they just can’t-elope

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FunkyFaz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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Why can't melons get married

Because they're can't- elope

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πŸ‘€︎ u/perrytheboss
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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What do u call a melon that cant marry?

Cant-elope

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πŸ‘€︎ u/13harry09
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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What do call a melon that has to get married in a church?

Cant-elope

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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Why do melons have such big planned weddings?

They can't elope

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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Long story about a tragedy that once happened to me.

A couple of years ago, one night, I was about to propose to my girlfriend when my roommate Joseph barged into the porch out of nowhere, tripped and fell over, breaking a glass table with his face. Totally ruined the mood. Now, I didn't know Joseph THAT well, don't even remember where he was from, but let' just say I put my plans on hold to help him through his injuries.

Joseph had gotten big glass shard in his eye, making him completely blind in that eye. He was walking around with one of those cotton pads on his eye for a couple of months. Then suddenly, he disappeared, along with my girlfriend

Apparently they'd bonded during the time after his injuries, and eloped together , left me behind without as much as a note. I tried to track them down, but never could.

In conclusion, if it hadn't been for cotton eye Joe, I'd have been married a long time ago. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, cotton eye Joe?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mickerallen100
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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Get it?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeffreynbooboo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
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What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?

Can't-elope.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsNotLongNow
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2017
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I was passing by my son's bedroom and was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up…

Then, I saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow.

It was addressed, 'Dad'.

With the worst premonition, I opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands:

"Dear, Dad.

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.

I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy.

She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad.

She's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.

We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.

We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better.

She sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Joshua.

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true.

I'm over at Jason's house.

I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table.

Call when it is safe for me to come home!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2017
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What would Romeo & Juliet’s parents say if they were melons?

You can’t elope!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrscluna
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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Why did the melons have such an expensive wedding?

..because they cant-elope

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thsebrightlights
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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Why were the pair of melons sad?

Because they can’t elope.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ManbearpigDa
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
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Whats a wife's favorite food when she's stuck at home for her wedding?

Cant elope.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsovernat20
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
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What did the cantaloupe name his daughter?

Melony

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cbreezy123
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2015
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Why is the melon sad that he has to wait to get married?

He can't elope.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/durtymccurdy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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Two letters fell in love, but their parents wouldn't approve of their marriage.

The solution: EnvELOPE.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bonanza86
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2018
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Required to have a local wedding imgur.com/tn55IvY
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djeclipz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
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What kind of melon is traditionally served at weddings?

Cantaloupe (can’t elope)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hopkinsa17
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2018
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What fruit can't get married?

a Cant-elope!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/raisonhell
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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What kind of fruit do you serve to the couple whose family forces them to have a big wedding?

Can’t elope

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coneskater
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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What do you call a cantaloupe that runs off to get married?

A can-elope!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/badboy236
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
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Two melons fell in love

They were sad though, because they can't-elope

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kashindabank
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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What fruit can’t have a shotgun wedding?

A β€œcan’t-elope”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dank_boi37
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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Once upon a time There was a grape and a melon who had a date

The conversation was prety dry, so the grape begun raisin some questions

"Where do you see this relationship going?" he asked

"Look, i may not have my perents consent, but i think we are a nice pear, so don't think i can't-elope"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/etay1903
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
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What do you call a fruit that isn’t allowed to get married?

A cantaloupe (can’t elope)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tkstormkt
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
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Want To See an Antelope? [X-Post from /r/calvinandhobbes]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FA1R_ENOUGH
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2013
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What did the melon’s mom say to her daughter when she wanted to run off and get married?

You can’t elope.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/atom644
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
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What did one melon say to her boyfriend when he asked her to run away and marry him?

I can't elope!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/akc1999
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2018
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Why can't melons get married in secret?

They cant elope

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πŸ‘€︎ u/charadreemurrRMB
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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Why do melons always get married in a church?

Because they can’t elope.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Indoorsman101
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a melon that never got married?

A cant-elope

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πŸ‘€︎ u/worthlessgold_51
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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What is the most faithful fruit?

The can't-elope

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πŸ‘€︎ u/magniankh
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2016
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Two melons want to get married...

But they can't elope.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeeHarvey1963
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
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Melons can get married

But they can’t elope.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FilthyDesertRat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
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Why did the melon get married at home?

Can't elope

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Charlieb2007
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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