I’m surprised at how far I’ve come.
I was skeptical at first, but eventually I came a round
Just let me know if you can't come.
The Owl Jizz Era News.
You don't want to get off on the wrong foot.
A Diablode.
A fapuccino
Turns out it’s tomorrow.
It came early
Because it goes 27 mph.
If you can't come let me know
That's alot of information to swallow.
The guy comes in the next day looking for the books again but quickly apologizes. Sorry I came early.
When he finally arrived, the person at the desk told him, “Ejaculate”
It's not out yet, but it's coming soon.
Nut so fast
...the website said it would be about an 8-minute read but I was able to finish sooner.
Whenever we met he would just come out of nowhere.
I guess I came too soon.
But she accepts my shortcomings.
So I came in my pants
A cumikaze
It runs in our jeans.
I'm dressing as Premature Ejaculation, because I just came in my pants.
A male drone bee ejaculates with such force it causes his genitals to explode, resulting in his death.
One such bee, upon learning of this, took a vow of celibacy and swore off sex forever.
When news reached the queen she scoffed and said "How very unbecoming of him."
Seems like a vas improvement so far.
The urologist told me that I need to use an athletic supporter for 3 to 7 days following the procedure but he also said not to ejaculate for at least a week so what exactly am I supposed to do with this cheerleader in my basement?
Speaking of birth control, what's the difference between permanent female sterilization and a Russian bakery? Well, one's a tubal ligation, the other's a Ruble pie station.
My greatest regret in all this is that I can no longer dress up for Halloween as a pirate and carrying around a sign that says, "Ask me what I use to convey sperm from my testicle to my urethra," for the sake of replying, "A vas, matey!"
Look, these are hard to come up with and my nads are sore. Give me something to make the wife groan that sexy, "why did I marry you" groan that we all love.
Dad(Sitting on the computer behind me): Thewierdside come here a second.
ignore because of GTAV
Dad: Thewierdside!
Me: I'm coming!
Dad: Hi coming, i'm ejaculating.
do you know what an awkward laugh sounds like? because i do. It's when you laugh hysterically for 2 seconds then abruptly fade when you realise what your dad just said....
EDIT:
Oh yea, and why'd he call me on to the computer? he wanted a place to watch movies, so after that debacle, i suggested going to /r/fullmoviesonyoutube
Me: www.reddit.com slash r slash Full, Movies, on, youtube. no space
He, of course, wrote:
www.reddit.com/r/fullmoviesonyoutubenospace
said it wasnt working then laughed when he told me he typed in exactly what i said.
Turns out it’s tomorrow.
But it turns out that it’s tomorrow
Turns out it's tomorrow
Turns out I came early.
