East Coast Puns

She’s Mad at gas cars.

To me, this just sounds like a bunch of monkey business.

Are you Joaquin me?

Last night my wife and I were getting some of our things together in preparation for a vacation this weekend.

Wife: there's just too much to pack

Me: Yeah, it's not a Biggie

Wife:... shakes head sadly

My best friend lives on the East Coast. I’m on the West. He often streams his games over Skype so I can hang out and watch. He was playing the Witcher 3, and fighting the water monster men. I said “They just want to know the shape of you,” and he coincidentally died at that moment.

He got really, really mad. I always knew my puns annoyed him a little, but when I was sad, he’d tell dumb puns he’d google to cheer me up. But he just went into a tangent on how much puns annoy him and how he doesn’t get that I keep doing them over and over again every day whenever I talk with him. Trying to stop or cut back on puns would be pretty difficult and make me sad; I love witty wordplay and commentary, and bottling it up feels awful. But apparently it really, really annoys him.

What should I do?

Talking to a coworker from Minnesota, while we currently live on the east coast:

"So how was your easter? Or do you guys celebrate midwester out there?"

No laughs, just silence. I think I did well.

for those off the East coast of Florida, it looks like a foot of rain.

I work in Marketing for an east coast MLB team. The other day, we held a "Country Western Night" and had various attractions in and around the stadium that went with the theme. One of these was a 'NASCAR simulator'- which was essentially just a racing game you'd find at any arcade. At the 8th inning, just before closing time, a man walked by with his wife, both sipping beer and watching kids play the game. We were closing after those last two kids, so I asked him if he wanted to play, or if he was just watching. He responded with, "Oh, I'm just watching", gestured with his beer and said, "I don't want to drink and drive anyway".