That teacher is sure gonna get an EARFUL
πŸ‘︎ 107
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Devanshi1618
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Ear pun

I've never seen the inside of my ears...

But I've heard good things.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dropixs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What has ears but cannot hear?

A cornfield!

πŸ‘︎ 368
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedeathwaiter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2022
🚨︎ report
Spock has three pointy ears: the left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear. What does Scotty have?

Engine ears!

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bluebirdgm
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2022
🚨︎ report
what do you call a man with a rabbit stuffed in both of his ears?

Anything you like - he can't hear you!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2022
🚨︎ report
Doctor: "So, you're telling me that you have a problem with one of your ears. Are you sure?"

Me: "Yes doctor. I am definite."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2022
🚨︎ report
I was talking to a guy the other day and he said my ear ring is terrible

What an idiot! I don't even wear ear rings

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flazdude
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2022
🚨︎ report
How many ears does captain Kirk have?

His left ear, his right ear and his final frontier

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RadaROperator_1
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2022
🚨︎ report
What did the ear of corn say when all its clothes fell off?

Ah shucks!

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2022
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the leopard that went to the gun range without ear protection?

He became a Def Leppard

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sandstar115
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2022
🚨︎ report
My grandfather must have a virus that affects his ears.

Because he told me he has hearing AIDS.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnxietyIsEnergy
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2022
🚨︎ report
After finally finding a pirate ear doctor, I had to pay every last doubloon of mine.

It was totally outrageous, his prices were a buccaneer!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealJackoBomb
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2022
🚨︎ report
Why was the ear turned on?

It was hard of hearing

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eagleboy444
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2022
🚨︎ report
Why was it only $2 for the pirate to get both his ears pierced?

He got the buccaneer special

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thep00psm1th
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2022
🚨︎ report
I used to be able to play the piano by ear

But now I have to use my hands.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedeathwaiter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2022
🚨︎ report
Somebody asked me if I could play a song on the guitar by ear.

I told them, ”No, I can only play by hands.”

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2022
🚨︎ report
I clean my ears daily…

because I am ear responsible.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chrispy_Clean
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2022
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a homosexual whispers in your ear?

Gay-SMR

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Garfielf331
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2022
🚨︎ report
When you tell one too many corny jokes…

I’m calling the crops

πŸ‘︎ 591
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shop_Kooky
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2022
🚨︎ report
I went to the Ear, Nose & Throat doctor to clear one ear I was having hearing trouble due wax. He asked me what ear is it?

I told him "2022". If you ask me, these doctors sure ask dumb questions.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2022
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bear with no ear?

B.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2022
🚨︎ report
I don’t think dad jokes are corny…

…I think they are kernels of wisdom.

πŸ‘︎ 289
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JPHFanEdits
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2022
🚨︎ report
A list of over 350 Dad Jokes!

Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.

3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.

5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.

A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. β€œI’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. β€œSorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. β€œYou’re out of your head.”

A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'

A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.

A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. β€œWe don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. β€œWhy not?” one yogurt asks. β€œWe’re cultured.”

A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.

A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.

A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, β€œWhat are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, β€œIt’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”

A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, β€œWhat’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, β€œArrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, β€œI don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

Armed robbersβ€”some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.

Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.

Can February March? No, but April May!

Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.

Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.

Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!

Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.

Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?

Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!

Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bugasum
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2022
🚨︎ report
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears peirced?

About a-buc-an-ear

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/007King_Kong
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2022
🚨︎ report
What do you get if you have the eyes of a hawk, heart of a lion, and the ears of a fox?

A lifetime ban from the zoo

πŸ‘︎ 80
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
🚨︎ report
My husband stuck his finger in my ear...

I asked "why did you do that?"

He said "Becauss you EAR-itate me."

We're newly parents and he was very proud of himself for that, his first dad joke.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2022
🚨︎ report
This JUST happened. Daughter wakes up 2 am.

Me: what's up kiddo?

Daughter: my ear is bothering me

Me: what are the symptoms

Daughter: it's Ear-ritating me

Me: laughs hysterically.

Edited: formatting.

πŸ‘︎ 785
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elfere
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2022
🚨︎ report
How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?

A buck-an-ear!

I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!

Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasn’t expecting this!

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/motherduck5
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2021
🚨︎ report
why did the Black Sabbath fan pour molten lead into his ears?

He just wanted to listen to some heavy metal

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/critivix
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2022
🚨︎ report
I just discovered Ear Sex is a thing.

Now I have hearing aids πŸ˜”

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MyClosetedBiAlt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2022
🚨︎ report
What do you call a man with no ears?

Whatever you want, he won’t hear you.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/reddit_user_270
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Lend me your ears....
πŸ‘︎ 935
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2021
🚨︎ report
On our way home, my son heard a loud train. "If it were any closer, it would hurt our ears," he said.

"That's a sound prediction," I concurred.

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Every time I touch I get the zaps
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sjmaeff
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2022
🚨︎ report
Little known fact: Spock had three ears!

His left ear, his right ear, and the final front-ear.

πŸ‘︎ 78
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scruffyblake
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2022
🚨︎ report
How much does a pirate pay to get his ears pierced?

A Buccaneer

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PopParticular8348
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2022
🚨︎ report
Doctor: "So, you're telling me that you have a problem with one of your ears. Are you sure?"

Me: " Yes doctor! I'm definite "

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2022
🚨︎ report
Did you know Captain Kirk of the Starship Enterprise had three ears?

A left ear, a right ear and a final frontear?

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scsidan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2022
🚨︎ report
How much did the pirate pay for his ears to be pierced?

A buck-an-ear.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2022
🚨︎ report
Which ear does a dad like best?

B ear

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/us-redditor
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2022
🚨︎ report
What’s an Ear nose and throat (ENT) doctor’s favorite car?

A Boogerati

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/intetsu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2022
🚨︎ report
I told my doctor I couldn't hear in my left ear. He ask if I was sure.

I said yes, I am definite.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaxCWebster
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2022
🚨︎ report
Americans have three ears: the left ear, the right ear...

And the frontier.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/frexyincdude
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
🚨︎ report
My favorite Star Trek race are the aliens with three ears

Left ear, right ear, and the final front ear

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sassaphras
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2022
🚨︎ report
What has ears but cannot hear?

A Cornfield.

That ones for the Americans ΓΆ

πŸ‘︎ 78
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBoringRogue
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the angry lawyer go to an ear doctor?

He had a bad hearing.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KingdomOfNerdz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you know space has three ears?

A left ear, a right ear and a final front ear.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
🚨︎ report

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