I've never seen the inside of my ears...
But I've heard good things.
Engine ears!
Anything you like - he can't hear you!
Me: "Yes doctor. I am definite."
What an idiot! I don't even wear ear rings
His left ear, his right ear and his final frontier
Ah shucks!
He became a Def Leppard
Because he told me he has hearing AIDS.
It was totally outrageous, his prices were a buccaneer!
It was hard of hearing
He got the buccaneer special
But now I have to use my hands.
I told them, ”No, I can only play by hands.”
because I am ear responsible.
Gay-SMR
I’m calling the crops
I told him "2022". If you ask me, these doctors sure ask dumb questions.
…I think they are kernels of wisdom.
Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.
3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.
5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.
A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. “I’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. “Sorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. “You’re out of your head.”
A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'
A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.
A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. “We don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. “Why not?” one yogurt asks. “We’re cultured.”
A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.
A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.
A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, “What are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”
A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, “What’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Arrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
Armed robbers—some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.
Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.
Can February March? No, but April May!
Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.
Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!
Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.
Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?
Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!
Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape
... keep reading on reddit ➡About a-buc-an-ear
A lifetime ban from the zoo
I asked "why did you do that?"
He said "Becauss you EAR-itate me."
We're newly parents and he was very proud of himself for that, his first dad joke.
Me: what's up kiddo?
Daughter: my ear is bothering me
Me: what are the symptoms
Daughter: it's Ear-ritating me
Me: laughs hysterically.
Edited: formatting.
A buck-an-ear!
I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!
Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasn’t expecting this!
He just wanted to listen to some heavy metal
Now I have hearing aids 😔
Whatever you want, he won’t hear you.
"That's a sound prediction," I concurred.
His left ear, his right ear, and the final front-ear.
A Buccaneer
Me: " Yes doctor! I'm definite "
A left ear, a right ear and a final frontear?
A buck-an-ear.
A Boogerati
I said yes, I am definite.
And the frontier.
Left ear, right ear, and the final front ear
A Cornfield.
That ones for the Americans ö
He had a bad hearing.
A left ear, a right ear and a final front ear.
