How do mathematicians scold their children?

If I’ve told you N times, I’ve told you N+1 times...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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I stubbed my toe and got scolded by my parents for yelling β€œWhat the duck”

They were angry that I used fowl language

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/inceptionisim
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
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I apologise if this isn't allowed.

New to this subreddit. I know the point of this thing is to share funny jokes, but since I'm a newbie I hope you'll allow me this one opportunity to make a serious but friendly PSA: If you're lucky enough to have a father, don't take him for granted. Even when they scold or punish you, trust their judgement, it's likely for good reason even if you can't see it at the time. When I was a child I narrowly avoided a horrific accident in which 4 of my friends were electrocuted at a playground we used to play on every day after school. I used to hate my old man for being so strict and disciplining me when all of my friends got to run wild, but if it weren't for him I definitely would have been electrocuted too that day. But I wasn't. I was grounded.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoThruTrucks
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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I scolded my son because he keeps turning down the thermostat.

I put it back at 70 and said "I've had it up to here!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CSwork1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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I feel awful because I scolded my son after he gave me my 50th birthday card

But part of me feels justified because one would have been enough

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saulmessedupman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2018
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I got scolded for exiting my house carrying a coffer with a ursine emblem on it

Apparently it's not OK to walk around in public with a bear chest...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/QuicksilverDragon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
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What is gray and not very heavy?

Light gray.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
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Everyone told Sam not to sing

but Samsung anyway.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ahmed137
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
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Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Scold.

Scold who?

Scold out here, let me in!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ALQaholic835
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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Something my dad once did

Okay... A bit of back story. My dad is someone who knows how to end fun...

But all in all, it is fine. We just normally talk t on him about serious topics.

So one night, my dad was in the shower. My sister and I were bickering about something and she did something that made me angry. So I screamed at my dad to "look at what she did" (I think she hit me or something) and all he merely did was peaked his head out of the bathroom and went back in.

I was expecting something like a scolding or something so I screamed again. Then he told me that I asked him to "look" and so he did already.

I promised myself to not talk to him again until I left my home. But if course with my bloody short attention span (I was around 7 or 8), I forgot about it the next morning. My sis n him had a laugh... 😠😠😠

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rbg90g
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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Two prisoners were escaping down a ladder...

Two prisoners were escaping down a ladder. While the seasoned prisoner at the top watched for guards, the new prisoner went down the ladder first and slowly. Once the ladder was clear, the seasoned prisoner slid down in just three seconds, then he scolded the new prisoner for being so slow. The new prisoner replied, "Well, look at mister con descending here."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/43-48-45-45-53-45
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2017
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So I was sitting in my physics class...

and my teacher starts counting wavelengths to help us learn a concept. "One lambda, two lambda, three lambda" suddenly I chime in "man, I thought I was the only one trying to fall asleep here". My teacher looked at me obviously ready to scold me but before he does I proudly explain myself "Get it? Like counting sheep!". Believe me, the groan my classmates gave me was one for the ages.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/myusernamestinks
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2014
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Got my wife with a few in a row while my daughter was at her dance class..

So, my wife was telling about how disappointed she was at our kindergartener's "Spring Fling" party this year. She described this one "activity" Where the kids throw a roll of toilet paper and try to ring a toilet.

I remarked "Wow.. that -is- pretty shitty!" And she scolded me for using foul language. "Yea.. sorry for the potty mouth... I'll water it down next time.."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2014
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Went to an art class today...

And when my girlfriend showed her piece, he scolded and critiqued her...In defense of my girlfriend I quickly shouted, "Hey, that's where I draw the line! You need to easel up on my girlfriend!"

He wasn't amused.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevingcp
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2015
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My parents came down to visit me this weekend. Dad pulled a quick one.

So I'm in undergrad right now, on track to apply to dental school and whatnot. My parents came down to visit me and bring me some home cooked goodies. They got hungry so we decided to hit up a BBQ joint. In the car, my mom is scolding me for something (I forget what for) but my reply was that I don't have any patience to do it. She says "Why don't you have any patience?" when my dad chimes in and says "Well, he has to wait until he graduates from dental school before he gets any patients".

Baduhm-tss

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrwongme
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2013
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The Only Trick My Dog Knows How To Do

My dad will take a block of cheese out of the fridge and cut strips from it. He will ask anyone else in the room if they want a piece of cheese, and if you say yes then he says "Here Sadie, go give it to forrestke18." Naturally the dog eats it and he scolds the dog while laughing his head off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/forrestke18
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2013
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My first

As I was holding my pregnant wife's belly she playfully said, "Tell her (our unborn daughter) to stop making me feel so bad.".

Without hesitation, I looked at her belly and scolded, "Quit making your mama feel bad or I'll send you to your womb!".

To my surprise, my wife actually chuckled a little. But it was short lived.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shewter
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2014
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I've discovered my inner dad today

I was hanging out with my brother at his girlfriend's house today. I also need to mention she's the daughter of a pastor. She was feeding her pet bird some chicken when her dad walked in and scolded her for feeding meat to her bird. I said, "now hold up Pastor Hill, maybe this is what the bird should eat. After all, it is a bird of PRAY." I'm expecting a beard soon and all I wear now is cargo shorts and crocs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jerarddude
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2016
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Groan heard from across the room

Dad walked into the kitchen talking to Mom and leaned against the wall. He bumped a wrought iron cross down and it landed on his shoulder. Without missing a beat he grabbed it and scolded it saying "Don't you get cross with me!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bambamtx
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2015
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Chicken fingers and Buffalo wings

Yesterday, while sitting in a restaurant, a little girl at the table next to us ordered chicken fingers. Her dad scolded her, saying "I can't believe you'd get those, do you realize just how rare chickens with fingers actually are?" To which, I couldn't help but reply "Probably about as rare as Buffalo with wings!" We both mentally high fived each other, while our wives and his kids rolled their eyes and audibly groaned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryguy1984
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2015
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How do mathematicians scold their children?

If I've told you n times, I've told you n(10Β³) times!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timthedriller
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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