Bi son
Because he only had half his blood left
That way year will surely have some highlights.
NASCAR
You are an ambulance
I think the should re bran.
One of the most tragic is the art of hand making exit signs which is really on the way out.
Death care.
It will be the last thing I do.
You can tell people you are outstanding in your field.
You know why they always build fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.
Whenever I ask if they can do something it's always "Can sir."
Well Iβll be damned.
never get old."
Because the Supreme Court will then be Ruthless.
Surrounded by his son, his twin daughters and a haggard-looking nurse who looked about ready to end it all if only she could find the bloody switch, he was finally breathing his last.
His son, who loved him dearly and wasn't at all sure if he had been cut out of the will or not, burst into tears at the plight of a man who would look more at home in a red woolly outfit than he ever could in drab, white linen.
"I do not wish to die today, Anthony", he intoned fixing his gaze slightly above his son's left shoulder, "there is something you must do to save me."
"Tell me what to do dad, I can't bear to look at you this way", cried Anthony.
"There is a land, not far from here, where no one ever dies. It is not for dying you see. That is where I must go."
"Where is this place father? Tell me, and I shall take you to it."
"Take me there now", he said faintly as if in great pain, "Take me to, The Living Room."
Maybe I'm not planting them deep enough.
Gravyyard
you're a Walmartyr
I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says Iβm OK, but I feel like Iβm dyeing inside.
"Old habits dye hard".
We are all doomed!
βNine... eightβ¦ seven...β
Nobody's posted anything all year!
Happy New Year /r/dadjokes. May you tolerate hundreds of iterations of this kind of joke in the coming days.
They buckle their sheet belts!
For some reason it was really important to him that I have it.
Me, leaning down: "You're an ambulance".
