A monastery decided to liven up their old clothes by tie-dying them, but the fabric became stiff and uncomfortable. When the Abbott asked a sister to explain, she gave a simple reply:

"Old habits dye hard".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tqtshesays
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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If somebody is hanged, why don't we say they were tie died?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tananar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
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What does a hangman and a hippie have in common?

They're both into tie-die!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clark_creationz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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Man looks everywhere for his colourful tie when his wife tells him "I'm afraid you can't wear it anymore". "Why?"

Tie died.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dinzll
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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Grandfather’s ties

My grandfather was a farmer and he loved getting dressed up every year for the local fair and exhibiting his prize chickens.

For this occasion, my grandmother would spend the entire year searching through thrift shops looking for silly neckties for him to wear, and she loved finding ones with chickens on them.

When he died a couple of years ago, he bequeathed them to me in his will. When my grandmother handed me the bag full of them, my eyes welled with tears and I smiled thinking about my grandfather looking in the mirror and straightening his tie.

Why am I telling you all of this back story? Because the last time I tried to tell this to someone and I didn't give context, they thought it was weird that I was so excited about inheriting my dead grandfather's hen tie collection.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kingy7777
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
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Not your average dad joke...

So, I realize this isn't entirely in the spirit of dad jokes, but I think you all will get a groan or three in the end...

Basically, my dad is the epitome of /r/dadjokes. He is a walking talking dadjoke. So, it was quite the shock to our family when we recently found out that he has stage 4 Cholangiocarcinoma (the Bad Luck Brian of cancers.) and doesn't have much longer to live. Anyhow, his favorite image on the internet is of a dead deer on the side of the road with a "Get well soon" balloon tied to its leg. It cracks him up. Tickles him pink in fact...so, being the morbid family we are, that lead to this...

http://imgur.com/h2cCZQq

He might be dying, but I still call him dad, and he is still quick with a joke. As you can see his sense of humor hasn't gone anywhere. Our family's sense of humor is what gets us all through. I believe my favorite bad joke through all of this was his buddy who said, "Frank, that is the worst spray tan I've ever seen in my life." (You see, the cancer is shutting down his liver and he appears yellow from jaundice.)

I'm not looking for any sympathy here, dad's die all the time. That's a tough fact of life. I just wanted to spread a fine dadjoke.

Thanks for reading.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billegoat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2015
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Latin class

Teacher: Who was married to Julia, Julius Caesar's daughter? Class: Pompey Teacher: Yes and after his daughter died in childbirth, there was no family tie between Julius Caesar and Pompey and so became his enemy. Me: When she died in childbirth, did Julia have a Caesarean section? Teacher: lowers head and bangs on desk Why are you in my class?

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2014
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Let's play a game

We were watching a reality show called Oak Island when my dad said, "This would take a turn if they'd misheard and its actually Poison Oak Island. (Cue dad laugh)

But it got me thinking about a game I saw on Hollywood Game Night where they merge someone's last name and someone's first name. Like Bruce Wayne Gretzky. I find that hilarious.

This is my game creation: merge a well known phrase with a TV show, movie or other media that completely changes the premise of the media in a funny way.

First contribution: Tie Die Hard

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πŸ‘€︎ u/katfacekillah
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2014
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